Posts that inspiring an elegant life

In the Office

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I wanted to share these fabulous tips from Kate Spade. I am a firm believer in office dress codes. People will push “causal” to the max if you let them.

“To be honest, I don’t dress that much differently in the office than when I’m not working. Sometimes my choice of colors (or clothing is based on hooky and going to museums).”

I so agree with this! My wardrobe doesn’t change much from weekend to work week.

photo credit Sabine Instagram account

Dressing for work means dressing for your company and your responsibilities. If your company has a dress code, apply your style within those parameters. If you see a lot of clients or customers, consider that what they see is also how they’ll feel about you. Remember: NO ONE EVER GETS REPRIMANDED FOR DRESSING WELL!!!


Amen sister!







photo credit ffnf Liketoknowit



I love this quote from Kate. I hate casual Fridays! People come to work in the craziest things.


“I know I should like “casual Friday, “but in truth, I find it silly. It’s not that I feel there is only one right way to dress for work, and of course, I want everyone who comes to our office to feel happy. Yet when staff show up in shorts and sneakers, it’s as if they’re saying good-bye before even saying good morning.” 

photo credit Mariah Hewines 

Another aspect of dressing well is beauty and the most important thing about beauty is to leave SOMETHING to the imagination. That is still very important. 


I hope you enjoyed this post and continue to look beautifully dressed at work.



(text Kate Spade) 

Floral Beauty on Pinterest

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Most of us are on Pinterest and enjoy finding inspiration there. I have mentioned before that I have a couple of boards but this past weekend I found myself on my Floral Beauty board longing for some spring….

My roses at home

My peonies at work




My bouquet in our bedroom

My tulips in my office two summers ago!



Hopefully, spring will be arriving soon. I won’t hold my breath. We always seem to get snow in March. So I will just have to wait…..


(photos via Mrs. Shockley)

Elegant Cover-Ups

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How many of us have had a heel snap or a button burst? I know I have and anytime you go out myriad things can go wrong.

And as Kate Spade put it in her book Manners when these things happen, laugh, throwback your shoulders, and move on.

I have been reading this book for the last couple of months and in the section called, ” Dressing Disasters: Slips, Rips, and Broken Heels”, Kate gives wonderful advice on how to handle these mishaps.

~ The blouse with the missing button-  You notice this during a business lunch. If you’re wearing a blazer, draw it closer; otherwise, pull up your napkin to cover the offending wink of skin. 

photo credit Ilyas Bolatov

~ A hole in one-– You walk into a room, sit down, and realize you’ve got a large run in your stocking. Excuse yourself and remove the stockings. Even on a cold day, a bare leg is preferable.  (I have done this a number of times)


~ Great dress, wrong bra– When you put on your sleeveless dress it didn’t occur to you to check that no straps showed in back. If you have a shawl or sweater, drape it over your shoulders, or ask a friend to borrow hers. 

photo credit Charisse Kenion 

~ You’re stepping out of the car and whoops- the heel on your shoe breaks off. Ask yourself which looks funnier- one barefoot with one shoe, or two bare feet? Sometimes it makes more sense to jettison both shoes. 






















~ The one time you borrow clothes from your best friend, disaster strikes– the zipper breaks, buttons burst, or you become a magnet for mustard. The sooner you can change, the better. Afterward, be honest and tell your friend what happened; inform her you’ll have the garment repaired and dry cleaned. Return it with a short note and a small token expressing your appreciation. 




~ You missed the fine print- you’re the only one in formal wear. Slip off your jewelry, unpin your hair, and quickly wipe off excess “party” makeup. Then flag down the nearest waiter with the champagne tray. 






~ You thought the restaurant was casual, when in fact it’s dressy, as are all the people already there. Comb your hair, apply lipstick, and don a confident smile, then glide to your table as though you were in ermine ( and pray for a banquette seat). Once the table’s pushed in, who will know you’re in jeans?























Photo by Greta Farnedi on Unsplash









~ Your date sees the tags you forgot to remove hanging inside of your new coat. Laugh it off, then quickly get into your coat and head out the door. 





These were some fun and helpful cover-ups from Kate Spade. I do hope that you enjoyed these and that you think about picking up her book. It is quite delightful.

Top 10 Rules of Table Manners

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In society today things are so different. We are taking pictures of our food and doing crazy things at the table. I know… I am guilty of these myself. When a dish I picked looks wonderful I am always impelled to take a photo but I always keep the “flash” off and I try to do it quickly without anyone seeing me.

My husband here lately has been waiting until everyone is served before he begins his meal. I love it and it has inspired the children to do the same. I have been wanting to have better table manners lately and have been trying to pay better attention to how I act during dinner.

Even at home, I want to be excellent. I was flipping through my book The Butler Speaks and found his Top Ten Rules of Table Manners. Some of them are reminders while others give you something to think about…..

1) Your Dinner Napkin: Never tuck your napkin into your collar. When you want to use your napkin, put your cutlery down first and pick it up from your lap. When you are done with your napkin, place it back on your lap, and resume eating.



























Photo by Євгенія Височина on Unsplash


2) Elbows: As your mother always said, no elbows on the table. Also, don’t let your elbows stick out at your sides like wings. Keep them tucked into your body, especially when lifting food to your mouth.

3) When you don’t like what is being served: Inevitably there will be times when you don’t like the dish being served. Take a little of what is being served, try it, and try not to look unhappy. You don’t need to finish it.



4) Bringing your fork to your mouth: Never lean over the plate. Instead, bring your fork to your mouth. ( This is a new one for me)

5) Your cutlery: Speaking while holding your cutlery and, worse yet, pointing with your cutlery while speaking is considered very rude. And avoid holding your cutlery “as if you are going to war”, as my mother always says. Put cutlery down while chewing.

photo credit Randi Garrett.com
6) Reaching: Never reach for the salt. Ask the person beside you, “Would you pass the salt, please?”

7) Speaking: Never speak with your mouth full, I know, you’ve heard it before, but it bears repeating.

8) Blowing your Nose: If you must blow your nose, never do it at the table. Excuse yourself and go to the restroom or elsewhere. Be as quiet as possible so you do not disturb the other guests at the table.



9) Dealing with spills at the table: If you accidentally spill something, don’t make a big deal about it. If there are servers, motion for one of them to bring you additional napkins. Deal with the problem as quietly and quickly as possible. If you accidentally spill something on someone else, resist the temptation to wipe down yourself. Instead, offer your napkin.




10) Concluding your meal: At the end of every meal, the napkin always goes on top of the table, never on your chair. Push your chair back into the table; don’t leave it where you got out of it.

I do hope that you enjoyed these tips from Mr. MacPherson. I know I did. I also found a vintage Martha Stewart video on table manners 101. The link is here.  I do hope you enjoy it!

(list via Charles MacPherson) 

The Art of Conversation

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We all have those awkward moments when you don’t know what to say to someone during a party or class. I have been there. For me, I usually remain silent so that I don’t say anything strange or offensive.

Luckily, Mr. MacPherson has some great ideas on mastering the art of conversation. First, make an effort to speak with those on either side of you, and at a normal volume. Yelling at a dinner party will dominate others’ conversations- and it’s a mark of poor etiquette all around.





























photo credit the French Manoir Instagram account

 
Second, if you’re lost for conversation subjects, say something flattering to your neighbor. Don’t gush with false flattery, but find something kind, gracious and sincere to say.


Third, come prepared with something to speak about. I recommend reading the newspaper every morning, especially before an important dinner. Alternatively, listen to the news on the radio or on television. Doing so keeps you abreast of current events, and will give you many relevant topics to converse about.  


photo credit Murphy Beckerart Instagram account


And lastly, be careful what stories you tell and how you tell them. Always think before you speak! I know I need this but I am sure that we have all had those moments of, “Oh goodness, I wish I had not said that”. 



I hope you enjoyed this great set of tips from The Butler Speaks. This is a wonderful book and a great guide! 


(text Charles MacPherson)


Elegant Party Protocol

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Many of us get invited to parties or have office functions but for the most part, most of us will not be invited to state receptions or official balls.

Mr. MacPherson did however give great advice on how to have excellent etiquette and how to handle important events.

* Be on time (of course): When it comes to important events, there is no such thing as “fashionably late”. Be a few minutes early if you will have to check your coat or if you don’t know exactly where to go. 




* Do not lobby: An official event is not the time to lobby for your cause, no matter what cause it is. Use the event as a social time to get to know people, and contact your new connections on specific matters after the event is over. 

Photo by Mat Reding on Unsplash

* Never ask for more food: Asking for a second helping of something will draw unwanted attention. Large events are generally planned down to the minute. By asking for more food you may upset the timing of a dinner, and insult your host or hostess.





photo credit Marchioness Instagram account
* Connect with your host and hostess: Make an effort to speak with your host and hostess. Remember to take only a few minutes of their time. They do have to entertain other guests. 





Photo by Micheile Henderson on Unsplash




And last but certainly not least…..

* Leave gracefully: Usually, once the guest of honour has left it is your turn to do so. Finish one last dance or cocktail at the bar, then say your good nights and head for the door. 


These are some great tips and reminders from our great butler. I know that I will be adding these to my mental memory. I hope you enjoyed them. 

(text Charles MacPherson)











Tips for First Impressions ~ The Butler Speaks

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Okay, I have pulled out my book The Butler Speaks book once again. I shared some blog posts about this book, see here, here, and here. Now I am on etiquette and these tips from Mr. MacPherson are very interesting.

Mr. MacPherson believes that a good butler has much to teach us about how to make a good first impression and wants us to consider these pointers as a first-impression success no matter what the circumstance.

*  When meeting someone for the first time, repeat his or her name in your conversation. A butler will call the guest Mr. or Mrs. plus their last name. He will never address a guest by first name. 


*  Use the appropriate amount of formality depending on the circumstance, but whenever you’re uncertain, err on the side of being more formal, at least at first. Most people will tell you if they’d prefer a less formal style of address, but few will tell you when you’ve erred and gone too informal. 


*  Listen carefully when you meet someone, not only to the words a person uses but also to their underlying meaning. Respond when appropriate, and be generous and gracious. 





























Photo by Matthijs Smit on Unsplash

*  Always maintain eye contact

*  Be careful of using humor. If you are meeting someone for the first time, you do not want to offend them.

*  Check your ego at the door. Wait until you have established credibility before you even consider challenging someone you’ve just met. 


*  Choose your words carefully because, rightly or wrongly, what you say will be used to judge your intelligence, education, culture, and abilities. 



I have really enjoyed these pointers and hope to be sharing more.