Archive for category: Elegant Living

We all have those awkward moments when you don’t know what to say to someone during a party or class. I have been there. For me, I usually remain silent so that I don’t say anything strange or offensive.

Luckily, Mr. MacPherson has some great ideas on mastering the art of conversation. First, make an effort to speak with those on either side of you, and at a normal volume. Yelling at a dinner party will dominate others’ conversations- and it’s a mark of poor etiquette all around.

photo credit the French Manoir Instagram account

 

Second, if you’re lost for conversation subjects, say something flattering to your neighbor. Don’t gush with false flattery, but find something kind, gracious and sincere to say.

Third, come prepared with something to speak about. I recommend reading the newspaper every morning, especially before an important dinner. Alternatively, listen to the news on the radio or on television. Doing so keeps you abreast of current events, and will give you many relevant topics to converse about.  

photo credit Murphy Beckerart Instagram account

And lastly, be careful what stories you tell and how you tell them. Always think before you speak! I know I need this but I am sure that we have all had those moments of, “Oh goodness, I wish I had not said that”. 

I hope you enjoyed this great set of tips from The Butler Speaks. This is a wonderful book and a great guide! 

(text Charles MacPherson)

Okay, I have pulled out my book The Butler Speaks book once again. I shared some blog posts about this book, see here, here, and here. Now I am on etiquette and these tips from Mr. MacPherson are very interesting.

Mr. MacPherson believes that a good butler has much to teach us about how to make a good first impression and wants us to consider these pointers as a first-impression success no matter what the circumstance.

*  When meeting someone for the first time, repeat his or her name in your conversation. A butler will call the guest Mr. or Mrs. plus their last name. He will never address a guest by first name. 


*  Use the appropriate amount of formality depending on the circumstance, but whenever you’re uncertain, err on the side of being more formal, at least at first. Most people will tell you if they’d prefer a less formal style of address, but few will tell you when you’ve erred and gone too informal. 


*  Listen carefully when you meet someone, not only to the words a person uses but also to their underlying meaning. Respond when appropriate, and be generous and gracious. 

Photo by Matthijs Smit on Unsplash

*  Always maintain eye contact

*  Be careful of using humor. If you are meeting someone for the first time, you do not want to offend them.

*  Check your ego at the door. Wait until you have established credibility before you even consider challenging someone you’ve just met. 

*  Choose your words carefully because, rightly or wrongly, what you say will be used to judge your intelligence, education, culture, and abilities. 

I have really enjoyed these pointers and hope to be sharing more.

Okay, so for those who know me they know that I love a good tea room. I have been to about two so far. My first one was the Ayres Tea Room, see here.  The second was called the Cakebake Shop, see here.

Now, when my husband and I went shopping for dinner tables this past weekend we ended up finding another one!  I was really excited. I have never heard of it.