Posts that inspiring an elegant life

Beauty While Dating

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Honestly and truly I am so glad I am married! Good gosh some of the horror stories I hear from men and women about how it is in the single world. It’s enough to make you want to re-think dating and even marrying! I hate to say that but it’s a rude, disgusting world out there.

I still can’t believe how nasty women have gotten. It still shocks me! Well, as you can already see I have some more tips from my fav author on how to have poise and mystery while dating.

“When you dress beautifully, behave graciously, and exude class wherever you go, people will notice. You will be intriguing to those who also care about these things. With your excellent manners and grace, you will automatically weed out all of the potential suitors who are, well, not suitable”. 




photo credit website

~ Always present your authentic self. Never hide things or pretend to be someone you are not in order to impress a man.


~ Dress alluringly, yet tastefully. You should feel both comfortable and stylish in your clothes. You want him to focus on you, not your cleavage, so don’t feel the need to lure him that way. Your intelligence and natural beauty is enough!
photo credit Sinclair & Moore

~ Discuss interesting things such as your favorite books, films, and places to travel. Get an idea of what common interests you share. 


~ Never feel pressured to do anything you are not comfortable with. 


Photo by Євгенія Височина on Unsplash



~If he insists on paying, accept graciously, but be sure to treat him to something down the line, whether it’s lunch the next week or a meal you make for him.

~ On the first date maintain your air of mystery. He doesn’t need to know your entire dating history or why the last guy jilted you. These things can come out later, but for the first date, keep it light. 


~ We all know first dates can be nerve-racking, but don’t get drunk! Keep your wits about you and never go over the limit of how much alcohol you can tolerate. 


~ Avoid expressing your emotions online or in texts. Be respectful of what you share about your new beau on social media.






~ If you really like him, let him know. There is no need to play silly games. Remember, you are a catch! He will most likely be thrilled to have snagged such a poised lady.



~ Take your time. Just as you’d savor a delicious feast, savor the romance and how it unfolds. Don’t rush things. This is the most magical time in the relationship!


I hope you enjoyed these tips! I know I have! Even though I have been married for 13 years I can still use some of these reminders. 
(text via Jennifer L. Scott)


Being Gracious at Work

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I love my job. Ever since I was in high school I knew I wanted to be a paralegal. I enjoy the work I do and the office I work for.

But every office has those “bad apples” and I try my very best not to be in that bunch. Every office has them. Those “mean spirited” rude people. I just steer clear of them and rise above it.

I am finishing up Jennifer L. Scott’s third book Polish Your Poise with Madame Chic. I recently read her section called “Poise at Work”. I think that poise and excellence at work is so important but as I said before you will always have these nasty individuals that just make your day hard. Jennifer gave 17 reminders on how to have great poise at work. Here are just a few snippets.

1) Always act with integrity and dignity. Honesty is one of the most important traits you can have at work. Always be truthful whether you are clocking in your hours or listing your accomplishments in the interview.

2) First impressions are important. Whether it’s a new client or a new district manager, always STAND when you’re being introduced to someone.


photo credit Aerin Lauder from Instagram

3) Be a good listener. Let’s say you are receiving a performance review from your boss and he or she gives you a few areas you could improve upon. This hurts your pride. You might feel defensive, annoyed, and even upset. But it’s a good idea to place you pride on the back burner and genuinely listen to your boss’s analysis. Get truthful with yourself.

4) Look alert. I know you’re tired and this Monday-morning meeting is such a complete and total drag, but perk up, sit straight, and look alert. You can raise the energy level and productivity of your team.

5) Always dress appropriately. It is best to err on the side of conservative dress. Never wear clothing that is too revealing, either too short or showing too much cleavage. Dress for the job you want, not the job that you have. Aim to look presentable always.

6) No visible tattoos or body piercings. If you work in a conservative environment, it is best to cover them up. Whether you like it or not, people will judge you for them.

7) Treat everyone with kindness and courtesy, from the janitor to the CEO. Do this not to get ahead, but to show respect for everyone in the workplace. Treating everyone with equal reverence creates a positive team environment.




























8) Be diplomatic in how you communicate. Avoid pointing, as it looks aggressive. If you must point, keep two fingers together. Think politician. Also, think (and pause) before you speak. Maintain your calm and poise even in the wake of their angry tirades. You are the face of the company……

9) Watch your language. It doesn’t matter how friendly you are with your coworkers, watch your language lest the boss or, even worse, a customer, hears you swear.

10) Show respect for the common areas like the kitchen or tea area. Clean up after yourself. Never take any food that isn’t yours. Avoid taking personal calls in these areas, so as not to disturb others who are resting.

11) Keep your work area tidy. Doing so showcases a good work ethic and shows you respect the job. Treat your workspace as you would the big corner office with the view, even if you are just in a cubicle for now.

12) Always be punctual for meetings. You do not want to step into that boardroom with twelve sets of annoyed glances looking your way.

13) Never gossip. If others are participating in office gossip, stand up for the person being gossiped by pointing out that that person is not there to defend him- or herself, or simply remove yourself from the situation.

14) Take responsibility if you have acted in error. It shows tremendous courage to own up to your mistakes. Stepping up with integrity will most likely erase much of the damage done by the mistake in the first place.

15) Don’t order extravagantly at business dinners. I know the lobster looks good and so does that bottle of champagne, but employ restraint when ordering at business meals, to show respect for the hosts.












Photo by Kadarius Seegars on Unsplash


16) Never order a takeaway bag from a business dinner. It just looks bad. And then you have to carry it out of the restaurant. Awkward.


17) Be Yourself. From the initial interview to every day thereafter, strive to be yourself. There’s a reason you got this job in the first place.


I hope you enjoyed these reminders from Jennifer L. Scott and I would recommend you pick up her book Polish your Poise. It’s a wonderful read!


(text via Jennifer L. Scott)

Caring for Roses

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My husband picked up a copy of Victoria Classics Gardens of Bliss for me! I was so happy and grateful that he did. It had a lot of information in it about flowers which of course is my favorite thing.

One article that caught my eye was the two page spread about caring for roses. It is so great that I knew I needed to share this on the blog.

photo credit Brigitte Tohm

* Choose sturdy, proven rose varieties. You’ll find plenty of versatile and resilient shrubs appropriate for your climate, as well as for the conditions in your garden.


* When adding a rosebush to your garden, give it plenty of room to grow and reach mature size.

photo credit Dan Dumitriu


* Plant roses where they will receive at least six hours of direct sunlight daily. All-day sun is best.


* Dig a planting hole twice as wide and just as deep as the nursery pot or root mass of your new plant.


* Roses thrive in enriched soil. Improve soil before or after planting with several shovelfuls of composted manure worked into the area around the plant.


* Feed plants monthly with rose fertilizer during the growing season. Stop feeding by late summer to avoid promoting tender new growth that could be damaged by freezing weather.

* Water roses weekly if nature doesn’t provide soaking rains. Always water after fertilizing. Preserve soil moisture by spreading a 2-inch layer of mulch (compost, shredded leaves, and chopped bark) on the ground around the base of the plant.


* Keeping plants healthy helps prevent pests and diseases. Stopping to enjoy your roses enables you to spot the first signs of problems. Take a non-chemical approach to troubleshooting; A blast with the garden hose often eliminates insect pests. Cleaning up leaf litter minimizes diseases.


* Snipping off spent flowers keeps roses growing strong. Stop cutting by late summer and help plants slow their growth and prepare for winter. In late winter or early spring, trim off any damaged canes (stems). Remove brown canes and show no signs of life when the rest of the bush appears green.



* If you live in a cold climate, help your roses survive by covering the base of each plant with compost heaped to 12 inches. In spring, uncover the plant when it begins to show new growth. 


Give roses at least three years to become fully established in your garden. If the plant thrives, savor your success. If it doesn’t, replace that rose with a different variety, and try again in another part of the garden. 



Photo by Ksenia French on Unsplash




These are wonderful tips, aren’t they? To read the original article see here.











Beauty on the Go

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Here are more fabulous tips from the French Beauty Solution. These are tips that the author Mathilde Thomas follows while she is traveling. They are really informative.


                    photo credit Nicolas Fairford Instagram account.





* Moisturize your face as well as your entire body before getting on the plane. Really slather it on. In fact, you can use a thin layer of a moisturizing mask instead of your regular cream and keep it on during your entire flight. Don’t forget your lips and hands- use a thick cream on your hands and reapply often.

* Once you get to your seat, change the time on your watch to the time at your destination as you board your flight. This mental trick helps you adjust and minimizes jet lag. 

* I never leave home without my earplugs and sleeping mask.

* Try not to eat while flying, if possible. I know this is tough, especially if you have a long flight, but airplane food tends to be very unhealthy and is often overlooked with sodium and other preservatives that can cause you to store water and become very bloated. (Not to mention that excessive sodium levels are terrible for heart health, as they raise your blood pressure.) If your flight is very long and you know you’ll get hungry, bring food such as apples and bananas, if possible, as they are satiating and easy to digest. 

* Drink plenty of water. Then drink more! As much as I try to avoid bottled water, this is the one time where bringing a large bottle with me is a must. Stay away from anything carbonated, as it can leave you extra-bloated. 

* One glass of red wine at most. I know it is fare more potent at altitude and extremely dehydrating. Still, I love my nightly glass of red wine, so I have one small glass, especially if it’s a night flight, as it helps me sleep. 


These are some great tips and can help you enjoy your flight!

Photo by Mariah Hewines on Unsplash

Being Elegant at “Reading” People

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It is so hard sometimes dealing with liars, trouble makers, and down right rude people. I pray constantly for discernment and I am pretty good at “reading” people. There are some situations that I will not put myself into because I can tell if someone is not going to like me.

And that is okay. Not everyone is going to like me. But we must learn how to deal with these individuals. I was reading an article from Real Simple.com called “5 Tricks to Reading People”.
This article gave wonderful hints on what to pay attention to and how to deal with it.


Take Them Out to Dinner.





As a waiter, I always watch to see if, and how, customers’ demeanors change when they talk to me as opposed to the person they’re eating with. If they’re engaged and personable with the people at the table but then don’t look me in the eye or say “please” and “thank you,” I think that reveals a lot. I’ve heard of people taking job candidates to restaurants to see how they interact with the servers because it’s a good indicator of how they will treat their coworkers. It’s also telling for me to see how people react to bad news. When I say we’re out of a dish or the food is going to take longer than normal, do they let it roll off their backs? Or do they ask how that could possibly happen and say it’s unacceptable? In most cases—in restaurants and in life—there is a reasonable explanation. When people get upset, it tells me that they sweat the small stuff.
—Darron Cardosa is a blogger and the author of The Bitchy Waiter. He lives in New York City.


photo credit Clay Banks

Watch for “Actually.…”

There are telltale words that show a person is the type who likes to bait you into an argument—
especially online. If someone starts a comment with “Actually,” he is trying to correct you. 
Or ending a comment with “Right?” He wants you to engage. 
Another common indicator is chiming in with an anecdote to shut you down. 
For example, you write, “X percent of baby boys don’t get this vaccine.” 
And he writes, “My brother got that. You’re wrong.” OK, you have a personal story that 
you think negates all other information. What I tell people, especially female writers I work with,
is that when a person comes back more than once with an “actually” or a “Right?” 
or an anecdote, that person is trying to cause trouble.

—Annemarie Dooling is the head of growth and audience correspondence at Vocativ.com, 


a news website. She lives in New York City.



Have Them Tell a Story Twice.

With all of our electronic communication these days—and even more so with dating apps—
everyone has the chance to fabricate. Maybe they tell one person one thing and another person 
something else, just to get what they want out of situations. I’m newly single for the first time 
in seven years, and one of the things I look for is consistency when someone tells me a story. 
I’ll say, “Hey, remember that story you told me? What happened at the end?” 
Getting the same response—or not—says something about his honesty.
—Jessie Kay is the founder of the Real Matchmaker. She lives in Los Angeles.



Listen for a Straight Answer.

How directly someone speaks to you can be a big indicator of how forthright she is overall. 
This is something we look for when we’re working with witnesses but also when we’re looking 
at jurors. When someone immediately answers the question, we usually feel she is being honest with us. 
When someone talks and talks in a roundabout way, giving 15 explanations for what she’s about to say, 
and then gives you the answer at the very end, she might be telling the truth, or she might be wrestling with it. 
It hurts your credibility if you’re not immediately direct.
—Leslie Ellis, Ph.D., is a jury consultant at DecisionQuest, a national litigation consulting firm. 
She lives in Washington, D.C.



Ask if They’ve Broken a Bone.
This is strictly observational; there’s no data out there on this. But I have seven children, and 
I’ve noticed a definite bimodal distribution when it comes to broken bones. 
Three of them have had multiple broken bones—arms, shoulders, whatever. 
Four of them have never broken a bone. The ones that break bones tend to be more aggressive and daring. They’re also risk-takers, which can be a good thing. 
The others are more cautious and deliberate. It’s the same with my grandchildren.
 I have one who will jump off a couch and assume Grandpa will catch her. 
Her brother will climb up and down the stairs of the slide until he finally goes down slowly.
—Stephen Camarata, Ph.D., is the author of The Intuitive Parent and a professor of hearing 
and speech sciences and psychiatry at the Vanderbilt University School of Medicine. 
He lives in Nashville.









































(original article see here)

Elegant Revelations

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Every once in a while I find a list so inspiring that I repeat it in my mind, print it out and make notes. I recently read this list from another blogger. I thought it was so inspiring that I had to share it.

1.When you don’t want a vacation from the life you live everyday, that is a very good sign you’re listening and abiding by your authentic self’s yearnings and innate predilections.

2. When life gives you unexpected good news but you don’t know how to deal with it, be grateful. The universe doesn’t give what it doesn’t think you can’t eventually handle (excuse the triple negative).

3. Being around sincerely positive people will change your life for the better if you’ll let them.

4. We often pick small battles with others when we aren’t content with how our lives are currently going. Instead, take a breath and a step back and ask yourself, is this debate really worth the energy or do I just want to feel as though I can have control over something? Let it go. You have more control over your life’s direction than you realize, and in time, so long as you are making progress, no matter how small, the change you seek will come.

5. Save one-third of what you make before taxes. You’ll have a much larger smile come April 15th (for U.S. residents).

6. The little everyday luxuries make a tremendous difference in the quality of our lives. 

7. Say no when it doesn’t feel right even though you can’t explain. Something that you will want to say yes to will be glad you waited, and so will you.

8. Learning something new will seem impossible initially, but eventually, the wall of obstruction to the knowledge you seek will begin to crumble as a result of your patient persistence.

9. Listen to what speaks to you and follow it where it leads. 

10. Work better, not more.

If you want to read more from this blog post by Shannon Ables from the Simply Luxurious Life see here.
(photo via This is Glamorous) 

Keeping an Air of Mystery

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We are in an age where sharing everything has become the norm and keeping things private has become weird. It is so easy to get caught up in sharing too many details about one’s life.

I wrote a small blog post about this last year, see here. I try to make sure I practice this on a daily basis. Learning to find the balance between sharing your life and keeping things private is very hard sometimes.

We as women can have a tenancy to want to share and discuss everything with our girlfriends, co-workers, and family members. I have had my “oops I should have not said that” moments. I hate that! But since I am getting older I am learning to pause in between my thoughts before I speak.

There are some things that should be left unsaid. I had someone recently tell me that I didn’t post as much on Facebook anymore. I was very happy to hear that. For the most part I post photos or statuses that inspire. When I joined Facebook in 2011 I was venting things and emotions that I should have kept to myself but as I can see I am learning.

I read this recently from Jennifer L. Scott’s book about “the Air of Mystery”. She said, “Poise resides in the space between our thoughts. If we pause, we are less likely to say something that is not in our best interest. We will not engage in a “Twitter feud” because we will have paused and assessed. Your secrets will stay safe. We must remember that poise is in the pause. Pausing when agitated. Pausing when excited. Pausing before saying something that isn’t wise to say.

I could not have said it better myself. I am going to make an extra effort in keeping an air of mystery. Because there is beauty in mystery.

photo credit Llyas Bolatov