Blog posts that inspire

A Lovely Mind ~ Part 2

/2 Comments/in , /by















































I am still on my quest for “mental chicness”. This past December I wrote this blog post about having a “lovely mind”. I have been watching more of the news, reading more articles, and doing my best to stay abreast of the world around me without going into complete depression. 


It is not easy. There is so much going on in the world. Not to mention silly things that go on with social media. I have been so concerned about my Youtube channel and having “trolls”.  I have heard some of the other YouTubers talk about how people contact them and make horrible comments. I really don’t understand that. If you don’t like someone’s content just simply “unfollow” them. It’s so easy but then again people are crazy. 


I have been continuing to read the Living the Good Long Life by Martha Stewart. It was listed as one of my favorites a month or two ago. I have now entered the section of the book called “Accentuate the Positive”. 


I must admit I can be a negative Nancy sometimes so I am trying to work on that bad habit. Changing your thoughts can change your life and so that has turned into a life goal for me. In the book, Martha gives 3 tips from author Rick Hanson (Buddha’s Brain: The Practical Neuroscience of Happiness, Love and Wisdom) on how to accentuate the positive. 


The first one is:
Turn positive events into positive experiences. All kinds of good things happen in your daily life that you hardly notice at all. (O.M.G. so true). Someone pays you a compliment- you barely pay attention to it or deflect it. Instead, take time to recognize every positive moment and experience it. 


I know for me when someone pays me a compliment, I immediately say, “thank you Lord for those kinds words”. But that is just me… 















photo credit Nicolas Fairford 







The second is:
Savor positive experiences. Once you get used to recognizing these types of experiences, take it a step further and relish each good moment: hold on to it for 20 to 30 seconds, and allow yourself to really feel it in your body. The longer you hold these moments in your awareness, the more neurons fire simultaneously so they start wiring together to form a memory. 


I like this idea of holding your moments in your thoughts. This is something I need to practice. 

















photo credit Annie Spratt 





And the third is:
Consider how the experience is sinking into you and becoming a part of you. In other words, help weave it into the fabric of your brain and yourself. 


Soak in the moments of life. I really want to work on this. With our daughter beginning high school this year soaking in moments has become a huge goal of mine. 


Well, I hope that you enjoyed this post and take some of these tips and work on them yourself. I think we all get caught up in the problems and concerns of life and that we do just ignore those lovely comments that we receive. 


No more ignoring…. take it in and be grateful. 








(tips: Living the Good Long Life, page 169)

Disagree Graciously

/7 Comments/in , /by


I bet this title alone intrigued you. It intrigued me too as it is the chapter that I am now reading in The Civility Solution. I mentioned this book back in December and I am still reading it.

Now that the holidays have passed and work has gone back to normal I can get back on schedule with reading. One of the first sentences in this chapter was, “Rudeness is the ugly face that disagreement shows when it’s mismanaged.”  

 I read this sentence twice…









Photo by Micheile Henderson on Unsplash


I read it twice because it is true. Haven’t we all done this? I know I have. When I don’t understand the person that I am communicating with sometimes I can be rude. Honestly, it doesn’t happen often with people outside my circle as with people inside my circle. 




Photo by Rob Sarmiento on Unsplash



But I am on a journey to improve my thoughts and emotions when discussing issues with individuals. Dr. Forni says, “when you disagree, focus on the other person’s position to gain a full understanding of it and make sure that your disagreements are warranted.” 


He also asked questions like, ” how many times have you argued for the mere sake of arguing? How many times have you turned the discussion into an opportunity to make the other person look bad?” 


He then goes on to say, “Success is progress measured against the betterment of a situation, not the defeat of a person.” I needed to read that because sometimes that is the goal of an argument. To defeat the other person instead of making the situation better. 



Photo by Sophie Louisnard on Unsplash



He encourages you to start asking yourself radical questions. “Why do you have an urge to prove yourself all the time?” We need to take a good look at our accomplishments. Silence your inner critic and avoid comparing yourself to others. 

“The next time you are engaged in a confrontation, be aware of the dynamics at work. Stop and think. “Is my insecurity pushing me to prevail at all costs?” Which is more important, that I prevail or that the issue is resolved in the best practical manner?”  Am I even listening to the other person? Is he or she offering good solutions?” 


If the other person is unwilling to follow you on this path then you can respond with: “Let’s give this some more thought before we talk again.” Your hope is that this pause will inject a dose of rationality into the situation. 




photo credit Annie Spratt 


And lastly, if you are in a marital disagreement Dr. Forni suggests not to communicate that dismissive, “I don’t understand to “Help me to understand.” That does sound better and it suggests that you are open to their ideas and help. 


Well, I hope that you enjoyed this small chapter from Dr. Forni’s book and may have found some information on helping you on your path to disagreeing graciously. Happy Monday!

A Career Journal…

/in , /by

Last month I purchased a Real Simple magazine and enjoyed reading most of the articles in it. In one section of the book, it had a 12-month to-do for 2019. One of those to-do’s was starting a career journal.

I thought, hmmm a career journal? I currently do journal (see my blog post here if you missed it) but to actually have a journal dedicated to work goals? Honestly, I kind of like that idea. The article said this about the career journal…

Use a blank notebook or an app like Day One (free for the basic version; iOS and Android) to track accomplishments, note feedback you received, and list short-term goals. Ideally try to update it every day or once a week. “The more you visually see your goals and areas of improvement, the more likely you are to address them,” says Lauren McGoodwin, founder of Career Contessa, a professional-development site for women. It also serves as a source of proof points when you’re asking for a raise or promotion or looking for a new job.

I love the idea of making goals. I do have a few career goals and I am hoping that one of them will be accomplished this year. I have some extra journals in my nightstand drawer. I may have to turn one into my new career journal.

Now I don’t know if I will update it every week but about once a month sounds good to me. I do loving keeping goals. It helps me keep my vision in front of me. One thing that I am changing this year is being open to things. At first, I had my set goals and NOTHING was going to change my mind. But a recent event last year in 2018 help me to change that and helped me to be more open to different opportunities out there.

So now I don’t have my goals stuck on just one career move. Now I am much more open to exploring new adventures. So we will see what happens in 2019. I hope you all click on the link above and read the article. It is very insightful! Enjoy!!

(photos via Pinterest)

Living During a Shutdown

/11 Comments/in , /by

It has now been 30+ days since the government shutdown and it has not been fun (my office has been affected by this). Sighing….. I really don’t know what to think anymore. It’s been so frustrating to watch and hear the news. I have been trying to take everything in doses. I don’t want to overwhelm myself or become engrossed with what’s going on yet I do want to still be informed.

During this shutdown, I have been trying to keep my life in order and trying to keep the right perspective. It is so easy to get caught in other people’s life frustrations and situations. Sometimes you will find yourself absorbing other people’s emotions and I don’t want to do that. I am crazy on my own thank you very much! So what I have decided to do is remain grateful and enjoy as much beauty as I can.

First things first I have made it a point to enjoy flowers. The real and faux. In my office and at home. I really love flowers and have always used them as a source of joy and contentment. This is my faux arrangement at home. I love it next to my blue and white ginger jar. 
The second thing has been enjoying my breakfast in the mornings. I love coming into my office having my pumpkin muffin, fresh pear and a hot cup of ginger tea. Since the shutdown, I have been making sure that I take my time sipping my tea.
I have also made a point to enjoy my lunches. This fabulous salad was created by one of our attorney’s in our office. It is a spinach salad with apples, feta, almonds, and cranberries. Absolutely delicious and it was free! So glad she wanted to share this with everyone. 
This past weekend my husband and I went furniture shopping. Now, of course, we did not spend anything but I think that it is okay to “window shop”. I was able to find a nice dining room table that I wanted and was able to get a list from one of the sales reps. So when we are ready to purchase I know exactly how much we will spend. I love the table legs on this! 
Love these host chairs that I picked out too. 
( see my dining room inspiration post here) 
I have also been trying to find new delicious and inexpensive recipes too. I just shared my spinach eggs recipe this week and I have loved cooking that as well as eating it. Enjoying my meals has been another way to be grateful and create a beautiful life. This dish is actually from a restaurant. It is called the Napa Chicken dinner. I talked about it here. 
And the last thing that I have been doing is continuing to dress well. In spite of having limited funds and not receiving pay, I have made it a point to continue to dress well. Just because things are bad it does not mean that I should not continue to work and dress well. I am still working in my office giving it the same amount of effort as I would if things were normal. I believe the Lord will honor that. Keeping the right attitude during trials is just another part of our faith walk. I just keep telling myself, “the Lord has a plan”. I don’t know what it is but I am doing my very best to trust it. I remember a quote that I heard a Bible teacher say some years back. He said, “this is God’s universe and God does things his way. You may have a better way but you don’t have a universe”. 
I chuckled when I heard that. I thought, “yeah you are absolutely right”. This is not my universe. So just wait patiently. I hope that you all enjoy your weekend and continue to be grateful. 
(photos via Mrs. Shockley)

Quiet Dining on the Porch… Why Not?

/4 Comments/in , /by

I am so frustrated with myself. Last summer I made a goal to go on a picnic. I did not reach that goal so I am setting it again for this year. I would like to go on at least one picnic. I think that would be a nice way to spend a quiet Sunday.

One day this past week I was thinking about all of the porch sitting that my husband and I did this past spring and summer and I thought, “we should eat outside more this year”. I don’t know why we don’t. Maybe the humidity but for the most part it gets pretty warm here and stays warm in the evenings.

I really just want a cozy small table that I can put on our porch. Something like the photo above. So beautiful, comfortable and most importantly quiet. I just want to listen to the air around me. 
Dinner for two or maybe one. Sometimes my husband has projects that keeps him away for a day or two. Maybe one night I could have a quiet dinner outside alone. Honestly, that would not bother me at all. 
Or maybe a lunch with my daughter. I love the tablecloth in this photo. 
Love this table setting! This would be nice for a ladies lunch. That is something that I have always wanted to do. A ladies lunch….
We were recently leaving the Cheesecake Factory and this restaurant has a lot of outdoor dining. I was thinking about doing that this year too. Eating outside. I think that would be great!
Well I am going to make sure that I put these ideas into my planner and we will see what this year unfolds. Enjoy your weekend! 
(photos via Pinterest)

Elegant Evaluating

/8 Comments/in , /by


It’s the beginning of a new year and I don’t make new year resolutions but I do begin to evaluate for the upcoming year. I make mental goals and ask myself questions….

photo credit Ilyas Bolato 

1) How is my health? Am I exercising enough? Have I been consistent? 


2)  How are my eating habits? Am I getting enough sleep? Do I drink enough water?


3) Am I happy with my wardrobe? 


4) Where am I with my faith? 


5) Do I need to change my career goals? 






photo credit Alyssa Hurley 
6) How is my daughter doing? Does she have what she needs? Do I pay attention to her enough? Is she afraid to tell me things?




photo credit Pinterest 

And honestly, I can go on and on. Here is the thing. I am constantly evaluating. Not just at the beginning of the year but on a monthly basis. I am constantly asking myself questions. 


But honestly doing this keeps me honest with myself. I recently went on a “purging spree”. I got rid of a lot of clothes in my closet that just wasn’t fitting well. I start saying to myself, ” Are you really going to wear that. Let’s just be honest here”. With me having that conversation with myself I was able to let go of some of the pieces that needed to go. I will donate most of it to Goodwill, some will go to Poshmark and I did take a few pieces to my seamstress Mrs. Sunny. There were 3 dresses that I just LOVED but the top part was too loose. So I asked her to turn those pieces into skirts. I pick them up later this week. Fingers crossed!
photo credit Mrs. Shockley 



I also began to talk with myself about “bogus shopping“! It’s a quote that I came up with when I began to purge some of the clothes, shoes and purses that I kept. Some of the items that I purchased were apart of bogus shopping. I purchased it because it was on sale, or I felt like I “needed” to buy something because I hadn’t made a purchase in a while (maybe like a week), just stupid spending. That could have been a lot of money that I could have saved. Even today I was at HomeGoods looking at all of the Christmas ornaments on sale. I began to say to myself, don’t start “bogus shopping“! Buy only what you love, and I did. I am very happy with my purchases. 

photo credit Mrs. Shockley 


Then last week I did a “home purge”. There were a lot of things taking up space in closets, pantries, and cabinets. It was a lot of home decor that I didn’t need. So I bagged all of it up and will donate it this week. I now have a lot more room in my cabinets. I only want the items that I use. I will also begin an “office purge” this week. I need to get rid of the items in my office too.



I have also been thinking about making appointments and seeing specialists this year. I have made an appointment with my doctor to review my cholesterol and other levels. I am also having issues with my legs. I had my daughter take a photo of the back of my leg and I have a few varicose veins. Oh no! So I made an appointment about that. I heard that natural witch hazel could help with those. So I purchased a bottle and I have been seeing results! Fingers crossed!

I have also made this a year to have my first professional facial. I have never had one, shocking I know. So that is on my list too! I look forward to making some changes and to see where some of my new decisions will take me. I hope that this inspires you too!


The Civil Life

/4 Comments/in , /by

photo credit Aerin Lauder Instagram


Sorry for the no post on Monday. I have been so busy here at home trying to get ready for the holidays. Last night I decided to wrap presents. Apparently, you use different muscles when you wrap presents. I am so sore from it! It is the strangest thing.

So in November, I mentioned some books that I was interested in reading. I did order the Inviting Life and the second book that I ordered is the Civility Solution; What to do When People Are Rude and I must admit I have NOT been able to put it down.

In the opening part of the book, the author P.M. Forni (who just passed away on December 1), starts with this….
“Rudeness may be everybody’s everyday problem, but millions remain unprepared for their encounters with it. This book aims to help you find exactly what rudeness is and how it works. Most important, you will learn how to defend yourself effectively and civilly from its daily challenges. Being civil is a sterling strategy for rudeness prevention. If you are respectful and considerate, most of the people with whom you come in contact will be motivated to be the same in return. When rudeness can’t be prevented, civility is still your best choice, as the stories that follow over and over again….. 

Mr. Forni then goes into a story from his life. He talked about how on some airplanes there is a sign giving a suggestion, not a regulation on being a courtesy. The key words are “as a courtesy” and “we suggest”- nothing more than a gentle prodding. But why should we clean out a basin that a perfect stranger will use next? Why spend time and energy on something that does not benefit us directly? Because it is the right thing to do. Being courteous to the next passenger is its own reward, the sole incentive. A remarkable notion!  


I know that I never leave a sink without wiping it down before I leave. It’s common courtesy and it shows that you are neat and care about order.

photo credit Brigitte Tohm 

I am still in the first chapter of the book but it is so wonderful. I am especially loving the section called “Unfocused Rudeness”. I experienced that this weekend when my daughter and I attended the Nutcracker Ballet. People were still on their cell phones during some of the show and showing up 40 minutes after it started!!! Come on people, really! 

This book has been such a pleasure to read. I also wanted to share some of the chapters that Mr. Forni discusses. 

Look at some of these chapters…. Your Spouse takes Your Housework for Granted (oh my), Your Mother in Law Criticizes You, Your Child Talks Back to You… 

The New Neighbors are Noisy, Your Boss Reprimands You in Public, Your Colleague in the Next Cubicle is Noisy (yep been there)…. 

A Supervisor is being Unfair, Another Driver is Tailgating You (not everyone at once), and my friend got a kick out of this chapter, “The Infamous Finger Makes an Appearance“. There are more great chapters but I didn’t want to keep going. I just had to share this book with everyone. I got a pretty good feeling that this one will be one of the “great ones” for me. I hope you enjoy it!
(photos via Mrs. Shockley)