Blog posts that inspire

Quiet Dining on the Porch… Why Not?

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I am so frustrated with myself. Last summer I made a goal to go on a picnic. I did not reach that goal so I am setting it again for this year. I would like to go on at least one picnic. I think that would be a nice way to spend a quiet Sunday.

One day this past week I was thinking about all of the porch sitting that my husband and I did this past spring and summer and I thought, “we should eat outside more this year”. I don’t know why we don’t. Maybe the humidity but for the most part it gets pretty warm here and stays warm in the evenings.

I really just want a cozy small table that I can put on our porch. Something like the photo above. So beautiful, comfortable and most importantly quiet. I just want to listen to the air around me. 
Dinner for two or maybe one. Sometimes my husband has projects that keeps him away for a day or two. Maybe one night I could have a quiet dinner outside alone. Honestly, that would not bother me at all. 
Or maybe a lunch with my daughter. I love the tablecloth in this photo. 
Love this table setting! This would be nice for a ladies lunch. That is something that I have always wanted to do. A ladies lunch….
We were recently leaving the Cheesecake Factory and this restaurant has a lot of outdoor dining. I was thinking about doing that this year too. Eating outside. I think that would be great!
Well I am going to make sure that I put these ideas into my planner and we will see what this year unfolds. Enjoy your weekend! 
(photos via Pinterest)

Elegant Evaluating

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It’s the beginning of a new year and I don’t make new year resolutions but I do begin to evaluate for the upcoming year. I make mental goals and ask myself questions….

photo credit Ilyas Bolato 

1) How is my health? Am I exercising enough? Have I been consistent? 


2)  How are my eating habits? Am I getting enough sleep? Do I drink enough water?


3) Am I happy with my wardrobe? 


4) Where am I with my faith? 


5) Do I need to change my career goals? 






photo credit Alyssa Hurley 
6) How is my daughter doing? Does she have what she needs? Do I pay attention to her enough? Is she afraid to tell me things?




photo credit Pinterest 

And honestly, I can go on and on. Here is the thing. I am constantly evaluating. Not just at the beginning of the year but on a monthly basis. I am constantly asking myself questions. 


But honestly doing this keeps me honest with myself. I recently went on a “purging spree”. I got rid of a lot of clothes in my closet that just wasn’t fitting well. I start saying to myself, ” Are you really going to wear that. Let’s just be honest here”. With me having that conversation with myself I was able to let go of some of the pieces that needed to go. I will donate most of it to Goodwill, some will go to Poshmark and I did take a few pieces to my seamstress Mrs. Sunny. There were 3 dresses that I just LOVED but the top part was too loose. So I asked her to turn those pieces into skirts. I pick them up later this week. Fingers crossed!
photo credit Mrs. Shockley 



I also began to talk with myself about “bogus shopping“! It’s a quote that I came up with when I began to purge some of the clothes, shoes and purses that I kept. Some of the items that I purchased were apart of bogus shopping. I purchased it because it was on sale, or I felt like I “needed” to buy something because I hadn’t made a purchase in a while (maybe like a week), just stupid spending. That could have been a lot of money that I could have saved. Even today I was at HomeGoods looking at all of the Christmas ornaments on sale. I began to say to myself, don’t start “bogus shopping“! Buy only what you love, and I did. I am very happy with my purchases. 

photo credit Mrs. Shockley 


Then last week I did a “home purge”. There were a lot of things taking up space in closets, pantries, and cabinets. It was a lot of home decor that I didn’t need. So I bagged all of it up and will donate it this week. I now have a lot more room in my cabinets. I only want the items that I use. I will also begin an “office purge” this week. I need to get rid of the items in my office too.



I have also been thinking about making appointments and seeing specialists this year. I have made an appointment with my doctor to review my cholesterol and other levels. I am also having issues with my legs. I had my daughter take a photo of the back of my leg and I have a few varicose veins. Oh no! So I made an appointment about that. I heard that natural witch hazel could help with those. So I purchased a bottle and I have been seeing results! Fingers crossed!

I have also made this a year to have my first professional facial. I have never had one, shocking I know. So that is on my list too! I look forward to making some changes and to see where some of my new decisions will take me. I hope that this inspires you too!


The Civil Life

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photo credit Aerin Lauder Instagram


Sorry for the no post on Monday. I have been so busy here at home trying to get ready for the holidays. Last night I decided to wrap presents. Apparently, you use different muscles when you wrap presents. I am so sore from it! It is the strangest thing.

So in November, I mentioned some books that I was interested in reading. I did order the Inviting Life and the second book that I ordered is the Civility Solution; What to do When People Are Rude and I must admit I have NOT been able to put it down.

In the opening part of the book, the author P.M. Forni (who just passed away on December 1), starts with this….
“Rudeness may be everybody’s everyday problem, but millions remain unprepared for their encounters with it. This book aims to help you find exactly what rudeness is and how it works. Most important, you will learn how to defend yourself effectively and civilly from its daily challenges. Being civil is a sterling strategy for rudeness prevention. If you are respectful and considerate, most of the people with whom you come in contact will be motivated to be the same in return. When rudeness can’t be prevented, civility is still your best choice, as the stories that follow over and over again….. 

Mr. Forni then goes into a story from his life. He talked about how on some airplanes there is a sign giving a suggestion, not a regulation on being a courtesy. The key words are “as a courtesy” and “we suggest”- nothing more than a gentle prodding. But why should we clean out a basin that a perfect stranger will use next? Why spend time and energy on something that does not benefit us directly? Because it is the right thing to do. Being courteous to the next passenger is its own reward, the sole incentive. A remarkable notion!  


I know that I never leave a sink without wiping it down before I leave. It’s common courtesy and it shows that you are neat and care about order.

photo credit Brigitte Tohm 

I am still in the first chapter of the book but it is so wonderful. I am especially loving the section called “Unfocused Rudeness”. I experienced that this weekend when my daughter and I attended the Nutcracker Ballet. People were still on their cell phones during some of the show and showing up 40 minutes after it started!!! Come on people, really! 

This book has been such a pleasure to read. I also wanted to share some of the chapters that Mr. Forni discusses. 

Look at some of these chapters…. Your Spouse takes Your Housework for Granted (oh my), Your Mother in Law Criticizes You, Your Child Talks Back to You… 

The New Neighbors are Noisy, Your Boss Reprimands You in Public, Your Colleague in the Next Cubicle is Noisy (yep been there)…. 

A Supervisor is being Unfair, Another Driver is Tailgating You (not everyone at once), and my friend got a kick out of this chapter, “The Infamous Finger Makes an Appearance“. There are more great chapters but I didn’t want to keep going. I just had to share this book with everyone. I got a pretty good feeling that this one will be one of the “great ones” for me. I hope you enjoy it!
(photos via Mrs. Shockley)

Radiate Calm

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This past May I shared a book that I was reading called Treating People Well and in that post I talked about the Power of Charm and how to present yourself at parties and in small groups. That section of the book provided great pointers on how to mingle properly.

Today I want to share their chapter called “Radiate Calm”. When I read the title was intrigued and curious but this happened to be one of the best chapters that I have read so far!

This chapter starts off with a wonderful quote on how to “radiate calm”. It said….

“Staying calm is assertive. When you remain serene, you’re communicating that you have the situation under control and there’s nothing to worry about…… It’s tempting to fly off the handle in a confrontational moment, but far more valuable to bring goodwill and order back to an unraveling situation. Maintaining a sense of equanimity even when matters are tense disarms antagonists, builds trust, and forces everyone involved to focus on the problem logically rather than emotionally, allowing for better and quicker resolutions”. 





Photo by Carmine Furletti on Unsplash

WOW, I had to underline that in the book! I keep going back to it trying to remind myself to radiate calm. I even put some of the words in my day designer as reminders throughout the day. 



Lea and Jeremy provided four ways to radiate calm under any circumstance. 1) Stay composed, 2) Avoid drama, 3) Find common ground and 4) Maintain perspective. 




Photo by Johanne Kristensen on Unsplash


Lea stated, “acting with cool precision can help you appear powerful and in control, even if you might be rolling on the inside”……





In the avoid drama section they mentioned, “don’t get angry; get things done” and this wonderful quote which I keep telling myself, “rising calmly above”. I ADORE this quote! I have written it down several times already. And this wonderful thought still holds true, ” we learned to turn the other cheek at rude behavior”. Even though I believe that there is a time to address rude people and then there is a time not to. When it comes to family and close friends, okay to address the rude behavior. When it comes to someone driving next to me or a person that I know that I am not going to see for the rest of my life, I simply turn my cheek to their rude behavior. 



photo credit Karolina Bobek

“Often it isn’t important to know why someone is behaving in a certain way; what matters is how you respond”. I remember my mentor telling me that sometimes you have to think about why someone is acting a certain way and in most cases, it has nothing to do with you. 


And always keep this in mind drama begets drama. This is soooo true! I know we have all heard of the old saying, “misery loves company”. Well so does drama!  Drama filled people attract who they are. So stay clear of them. 


Other issues discussed were: recognizing hot buttons. If someone likes stirring the pot and can’t respect opinions that differ from his own, think carefully about including him in gatherings with people of varied views. Don’t escalate: take what people are saying at face value and act on the facts you know, not the emotions you may feel. Temper your tone: there will probably be a few times when you wish you had voice your anger more forcefully, but more often we wish we’d said less. Find common ground: don’t shy away from becoming an intermediary between two parties in conflict if you can help them arrive at a resolution. You may feel trapped at first, but remember that if you treat both sides with equal respect and honesty and have an investment in the outcome, this is a position of influence. 



I have so many highlighted sections in this chapter. It really hit home for me as I have been dealing with co-worker pettiness (read my post here about that), disrespectful family members and trying to navigate a hormonal teenager. I normally repeat in my mind this saying from Pastor Charles Stanley, “maintain quiet spirit”. Now I can add “radiate calm” and “calmly rise above it”. I hope that you enjoyed these tips from the book and as I proceed on I will share anything else that I believe will add a dose of elegance to our lives. 


Enjoy!
(photo via Pinterest)

(tips: Authors Lea Berman and Jeremy Bernard) 


Faux Pas to Avoid at Work

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Here is another great list of etiquette rules from expert Myka Meier. In this list she discusses office etiquette. Myka says, “Having good etiquette at work mostly simply means to be considerate and respectful of everyone around you”.


If you have a door, close it if you take personal calls. If you don’t have a door or are in an open-plan space, keep private calls short by saying you’ll call the person back on your next break, or walk to an area that is more conducive to personal calls like a lounge area or even outside. If you work in an open office space and professional phone calls distract you, remember that it’s probably not the person’s intention to bother you. Try to be understanding of the situation and keep a good pair of headphones nearby.
Keep your computer and phone muted or on silent so that every time you get an email or message it does not alert everyone on your floor.
Do not use a conference room to take long personal calls or treat it as your personal office. Squatting is for the gym—not the workplace.
In addition to doing your part to keep the bathroom clean, do not use the restroom to socialize, whether you need to call your mom or catch up on the latest office news. It’s called water cooler chat for a reason.
photo credit This is Glamorous
If you’re in a meeting, give your undivided attention to the person speaking. If you must send off a quick note or check something on your phone or computer, keep it short and sweet.
Unless everyone is in on the joke, keep loud conversation to a minimum. There might be a distraction but you don’t want to become one.
While eating lunch away from our desks is a luxury these days, remember those sitting around you. Try to avoid foods that splatter or slurp or have a lingering smell in a shared office space. As much as you may love steamed fish, the rest of your team will probably won’t.
You might love your gardenia-bomb perfume, but the office is a place to keep scent subtle. If you choose to put on fragrance, remember it’s meant to go on pulse points only and not clothing—it can permeate the whole room.
(I have to be so careful with this, I love a wallflower in my office but I can’t leave it in. Not everyone will appreciate smelling apple all day). 
To read the rest of Myka’s list visit the website here. I also wrote about office faux’s. You may visit them here and here. Enjoy!!!!
(photos via Pinterest)

Etiquette Lessons Every Child Should Know

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I thought that this was an interesting article. Etiquette expert Myka Meier shares her tips with Town and Country on 20 etiquette lesson that every child should know. I wanted to share those tips with you and my daughter.

1. The true meaning of etiquette is always to show respect and kindness to everyone around you. 

2. Use please, thank you and excuse me everyday.  (I wish more parents taught this, it’s incredible how rude teenagers are!) 

3. How to hold your silverware correctly. 



4. How to properly use a napkin to wipe your mouth. (No sleeves!)


5. How to chew with your mouth closed.
6. No elbows on the table……ever!

7. Never interrupt an adult when they are speaking to someone else. (some adults should know this!)

8. Never comment on someone’s appearance unless it’s to say something nice.

9. How to give a compliment to someone else.

10. How to write a thank you letter. 
I hope that you enjoyed these tips from Myka. If you wish to read the original article and see the rest of the list you may see it here. I love having these tips. It’s a great review even for yourself. 

(photos via Pinterest)

13 Beautiful Virtues to Live By

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Earlier last week I was reading another blog and she was discussing the “13 Virtues” of Benjamin Franklin. Apparently, he wrote these in 1726 when he was only 20 years old. These would be the principles that Mr. Franklin would adhere to and aid him in his path.

I was extremely impressed with these virtues and wanted to share them with anyone else who had no idea they existed.

1) Temperance– Eat not to dullness; drink not to elevation

2) Silence- Speak not but what may benefit others or yourself ; avoid trifling conversation

3) Order– Let all your things have their places; let each part of your business have its time

4) Resolution– Resolve to perform what you ought; perform without fail what you resolve

5) Frugality- Make no expense but to do good to others or yourself; i.e., waste nothing
6) Industry– Lose no time; be always employ’d in something useful; cut off all unnecessary actions

7) Sincerity- Use no hurtful deceit; think innocently and justly, and, if you speak, speak accordingly

8) Justice- Wrong none by doing injuries, or omitting the benefits that are your duty

9) Moderation- Avoid extremes; forbear resenting injuries so much as you think they deserve

10) Cleanliness- Tolerate no uncleanliness in body, cloaths or habitation  (wow!!!!)

11) Tranquility- Be not disturbed at trifles, or at accidents common or unavoidable
12) Chastity- Rarely use venery but for health or offspring, never to dullness,weakness, or the injury of your own or another’s peace or reputation 

13) Humility- Imitate Jesus and Socrates
I thought this was a wonderful list and just had to share it. These are beautiful beliefs to have in your mind when living and I thank Mr. Franklin for sharing these with us. 
(photos via Pinterest)