Social Graces

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This is our last section on manners for this week. I do hope that you enjoyed these tips from Kate Spade. If you are interested pick up the book on Amazon. It is really cheap, entertaining and helpful.

The last tips that I wanted to share are on social graces:

~May I air kiss you?


The handshake of yesterday is the air kiss of today. If you’d rather shake hands, then be swift and extend your hand in greeting before someone leans over to plant a kiss. Depending on where you live, the social air kiss can vary: in some cities, one kiss will do it; in others, it’s European style, with a bus to both sides. If you each turn so that you accidentally kiss on the lips, might light of it. 


Photo by Hendo Wang on Unsplash

~ To hug or not to hug- If you’re friends, then yes. If it’s a business colleague or client, with whom there is a genuine rapport, then yes. If you’re meeting up with a group that includes good friends and near-acquaintances, then hugging everyone is optional- but so time-consuming!

~Sorry, but what’s your name?– You’re in a swoon, you and your new amour kiss, and he calls you by someone else’s name. What to do- step on his foot? Vow never to go out with him again? Or call him by the wrong name? If you care, then bring to his attention, but don’t let it keep you up at night. 



~ We must do lunch– Sincerity is the cornerstone of good manners, so if you suggest lunch or a drink to someone, be sure to mean it. Follow up with a phone call or written invite within two days’ time. 




Photo by Sincerely Media on Unsplash


~ Double dipping- It’s not SANITARY, it’s certainly not appetizing to witness, yet just about everybody does it. If you’re passing hor oeuvres, you can help prevent this by immediately offering someone a napkin or toothpick. You can’t reform all the folks all the time, but no harm comes from trying. 



~ The Art of the Toothpick– Actually, there is no art to using a toothpick. When you feel the need for a little dentistry, excuse yourself and take care of the problem in private. 

And lastly, 

~ Tardiness– Some people are inherently tardy, no matter how hard they try: others are always early. With understanding, both kinds of people can be accommodated. What isn’t excusable. however, is calling someone at the exact time you’re supposed to meet and saying that you’ll be anywhere from 15 to 30 minutes late. Calling ahead shows respect for the other person. 



I do hope you enjoyed this post. I know I did. I always need a refresher on manners and grace. Being in a world where you see none of it can be hard sometimes. I must admit, sometimes I just want to throw my hands up and join the masses. But I try to step back and remind myself of what I want out of life and try not to be like everyone else. 


I always say I want to be a fragrance to people, not an odor. 

(list by Kate Spade)




Gracious Recoveries

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We are now moving on to social spills and recoveries from Kate Spade’s book Manners. I thought these were pretty funny and interesting.

It’s one thing to get mail with your last name misspelled and quite another when an acquaintance continually does the same thing (and mispronounces your name as well).  What can you do? How can you be gracious without embarrassing your friend?

~ Squirting your seatmate when you crack open a lobster. Offer your bib, if you have one, another napkin, and maybe even a piece of your lobster if it was from the claw.



~ Arriving a week early for a party
Humor is really the only way out of this one. Explain that you’re on a campaign to improve your tardiness and that you seem to have gone slightly overboard in the direction. 





photo credit Guillaume de Germain 

~ Inquiring after someone’s spouse and learning that they’re no longer married
It’s apparent that this is more of an acquaintance than a close friend, so offer a brief but sincere apology. Don’t, however, take license and ask why the marriage ended. 

~ Wearing the same dress as the hostess of an event
This is a case of the Frozen Smile Solution. Doubtless, neither of you is amused by the coincidence, but outwardly make light of it and let it pass. 

photo credit This is Glamorous Instagram account

~Spilling a Sea Breeze down the front of your white summer dress/ Someone else spilling a Sea Breeze down the front of your white summer dress. 
Both spills were accidental, and thus it doesn’t matter how the cocktail got on your dress. Excuse yourself, find some club soda, and do what you can in the short term to minimize the problem. 


~ And the most predictable of bathroom boo-boos: a stubborn toilet
Who said life’s fair? 


And last but certainly not least….

The Name Game:

Social faux pas are often committed in the misspelling or mispronunciation of a name. Contrary to the belief that you should grin and bear it, it’s actually a kindness to correct the person right then, rather than wait until a later time. Sometimes a delay adds to someone’s embarrassment rather than mitigates it. When you do inform someone of your correct name, do so in a friendly and casual manner. 


I hate doing that but you want to make sure that they know how to say your name. I have to correct people all the time. I hope you enjoyed this list just as much as I do. It was most helpful. 
(text by Kate Spade)

Style + Work = Poise

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This is my last post (for now) on style from Kate Spade. I wanted to share her formula for poise and demeanor in the office.

~ Consider the type of job you have: whether you work in a corporate environment, at a fashion magazine, or in real estate, the sensibility of your job and your position will guide your dress choice. 















photo credit Hoang-Kim Instagram account


~ Geography counts. Small town, big city, rural or urban are relevant indicators of dress.

~ Draw attention to your work, not your dress. How you dress may be one way of communicating, but your PERFORMANCE is always the best way to “talk about” yourself to your colleagues or your boss. 



~ Err on the side of discretion, not obsession: you might be proud of your tattoos and many earrings, but at work cover body markings and keep the earring count down to a pair -an earring on each earlobe.


~ Workstyle is not about the gym-fit figure but about demeanor: no matter how flat your stomach is, don’t show it.

photo credit Mariah Hewines 

~ Blue hair, purple hair, overly hennaed hair, or architecturally spiked hair is best left to after-work hours. 


~ Be observant. Some rules are spoken. Many others are unspoken. 

~ For presentations or lectures, select something with color so that you won’t fade into the background. Avoid looking washed-out.


~ What’s good for the goose is not good for the gander. Just because your boss might deviate from the normal office attire, don’t copy her or him. (Or at least not until you’re the boss and get to set the rules!)



Above all, be confident: posture and demeanor go a long way in an office. What you wear is part of the secure image you project. 




(Text via Kate Spade)

In the Office

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I wanted to share these fabulous tips from Kate Spade. I am a firm believer in office dress codes. People will push “causal” to the max if you let them.

“To be honest, I don’t dress that much differently in the office than when I’m not working. Sometimes my choice of colors (or clothing is based on hooky and going to museums).”

I so agree with this! My wardrobe doesn’t change much from weekend to work week.

photo credit Sabine Instagram account

Dressing for work means dressing for your company and your responsibilities. If your company has a dress code, apply your style within those parameters. If you see a lot of clients or customers, consider that what they see is also how they’ll feel about you. Remember: NO ONE EVER GETS REPRIMANDED FOR DRESSING WELL!!!


Amen sister!







photo credit ffnf Liketoknowit



I love this quote from Kate. I hate casual Fridays! People come to work in the craziest things.


“I know I should like “casual Friday, “but in truth, I find it silly. It’s not that I feel there is only one right way to dress for work, and of course, I want everyone who comes to our office to feel happy. Yet when staff show up in shorts and sneakers, it’s as if they’re saying good-bye before even saying good morning.” 

photo credit Mariah Hewines 

Another aspect of dressing well is beauty and the most important thing about beauty is to leave SOMETHING to the imagination. That is still very important. 


I hope you enjoyed this post and continue to look beautifully dressed at work.



(text Kate Spade) 

Fine Jewelry with Costume Jewelry

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I am finishing my reading in Kate Spade’s book called Style. The next section that I wanted to share was fine jewelry and costume jewelry. Should they be worn together?

Kate mentioned:


Real pearls are costly, yet you adore them. Is it all right to mix fine jewelry with costume?

Wearing jewelry with style is about considering shape, color, and proportion. If your grandmother’s pearl necklace is perfection with your costume Dior pearl brooch, then wear them together often.

Make them a signature look all your own. 

I love wearing my salt water pearl necklace with my faux pearl Chanel necklace. They look so chic together.
I have also worn my black Eva Mendes statement necklace with my pearl necklace from my mother in law. Lovely together….
And I have worn my Talbots statement necklace with my pearl necklace from my mother in law. Again, very chic together. 
I hope you take your fine vintage jewelry and mix it up with your costume jewelry. The look together just might surprise you. 

(photos via Mrs. Shockley)

The Beauty of Accessorizing

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I have pulled out my book by Kate Spade called Style and decided to review the “Have You Ever Wondered” section of the book.

Kate says:

You have a perfectly good dress for evening, but admittedly it’s a bit on the plain side. How can you look more spruced up?

Accessorize, accessorize, accessorize. Nothing elevates something simple like necklace of brightly colored stones or shoes with a lot of lift and sparkle.

It’s what you add that gives personality and style to your appearance.

I love this lace dress and earrings that I picked up at Banana Republic.
I love accessories and believe that they can and will set you apart. 
Lace-Trim Pleated Dress

Majestic Jewels Drop Earrings
My stripe dress that I picked up at New York & Company.
I purchased the brooch from a vendor last year. 
Wrap Dress
The shirt I found at a thrift store 2 years ago. 
The necklace is from Talbots also purchased 2 years ago.
The earrings are Ralph Lauren and the shoes are from Ninewest last year and unfortunately sold out!
I love to pair this with my flowy black skirt. 
The shirt I found at Banana Republic last year along with the bracelet. The earrings I found at Charming Charlie sales rack and the shoes are from Payless. 
I love to pair this with a gray skirt. 
The shirt I found at a thrift store. The shoes are from DSW. 
The bumble bee brooch is from Banana Republic and the earrings are from JCrew.
To read about my bee brooch see here.
To read about my shoes see here.
This has been one of my favorite dresses this year. I saw it on the Gal meets Glam blog in September of last year. 
I just loved the way it looked and had to purchase it. Here is the link to the blog post to read about it. 
The necklace is from the Eva Mendes collection at New York and Company, the earrings are vintage Chanel earrings that I got from Tradesy and the shoes are from DSW. I love this dress it is so comfortable.
And these are just some of my other accessories that I enjoy wearing. Accessories are a wonderful way to add your own sense of style to your clothing. I do hope that you enjoyed this post and I hope that it inspires you to add sparkle to your day.
Enjoy!
(photos via Mrs. Shockley)

Floral Beauty on Pinterest

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Most of us are on Pinterest and enjoy finding inspiration there. I have mentioned before that I have a couple of boards but this past weekend I found myself on my Floral Beauty board longing for some spring….

My roses at home

My peonies at work




My bouquet in our bedroom

My tulips in my office two summers ago!



Hopefully, spring will be arriving soon. I won’t hold my breath. We always seem to get snow in March. So I will just have to wait…..


(photos via Mrs. Shockley)