Keeping an Air of Mystery


We are in an age where sharing everything has become the norm and keeping things private has become weird. It is so easy to get caught up in sharing too many details about one’s life.

I wrote a small blog post about this last year, see here. I try to make sure I practice this on a daily basis. Learning to find the balance between sharing your life and keeping things private is very hard sometimes.

We as women can have a tenancy to want to share and discuss everything with our girlfriends, co-workers, and family members. I have had my “oops I should have not said that” moments. I hate that! But since I am getting older I am learning to pause in between my thoughts before I speak.

There are some things that should be left unsaid. I had someone recently tell me that I didn’t post as much on Facebook anymore. I was very happy to hear that. For the most part I post photos or statuses that inspire. When I joined Facebook in 2011 I was venting things and emotions that I should have kept to myself but as I can see I am learning.

I read this recently from Jennifer L. Scott’s book about “the Air of Mystery”. She said, “Poise resides in the space between our thoughts. If we pause, we are less likely to say something that is not in our best interest. We will not engage in a “Twitter feud” because we will have paused and assessed. Your secrets will stay safe. We must remember that poise is in the pause. Pausing when agitated. Pausing when excited. Pausing before saying something that isn’t wise to say.

I could not have said it better myself. I am going to make an extra effort in keeping an air of mystery. Because there is beauty in mystery.

photo credit Llyas Bolatov

2 replies
  1. Shery G
    Shery G says:

    I love this post Mrs. Shockley! I have thought the same thing at times, as to why some women share so much of their life on social media or in person when women get together. I have been told at times that I'm secretive, but that's when I let it be known that their is a difference between being secretive and being a private person. I also think it is good to listen instead of speaking at times. Doing this helps me walk away from situations that may not turn out very nice at the end. I wish some women would get this. Once again great post!

    • Mrs. Shockley
      Mrs. Shockley says:

      Thank you for the compliment! It is hard to remain private without people thinking the worse of you. But there is so much exposed on the internet. It's just not worth it.

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