Reputation by Association
Good Morning Everyone,
It has been an interesting week. I am still volunteering at Dress for Success and still enjoy it. Being around all these different women just had me thinking. Do you believe that we attract who we are?
I believe it and have seen it work in my life as well as others. Remember that classless co-worker that I talked about here on the blog? Well, one of our other co-workers was friends with her and as I watched their friendship I noticed that the other co-worker (who was very nice) begin to act like and sort of take on the nasty one’s demeanor.
photo credit Mariah Hewines
It was really hard to watch and some of us noticed it right away and felt sorry for her. Well, I am happy to report that they are no longer friends. The nasty one (who was nasty to me and others) destroyed that friendship as well and the nice one was left without an explanation.
She just stopped talking with her which is really sad. She didn’t even tell her why she did not want to be friends anymore. I can’t say I am surprised. I talked with my mentor about it and she said (which is what I already knew) she no longer had a use for her and didn’t need her anymore. Really sad…
Be careful who you let into your “gates”. Not everyone is for you. I am still reading the English Etiquette and I am in the chapter about reputation. Alena had some wonderful tidbits in this section.
“When you spend time with people who are thin on morality, manners and common decency as if by osmosis, your reputation and self-worth will begin to fall in line with theirs”.
“Choose wisely who you spend your time with because despite what you know in your heart, you will look guilty by association and the time spent with those people will only serve to drag you down and perhaps tempt you in the long run”.
“Be the light to these people but don’t validate what they are doing by passively hanging around with them in order to make yourself or them feel better”.
I take these wisdom points very seriously. I am very, very cautious about who I let into my gates. I know that not everyone is my friend. It’s so unfortunate that we have to be this way. But be careful that you don’t turn a blind eye to someone’s horrible behavior just to have a friend because is that really friendship?
I have been praying for years (since 2012) that the Lord will send me godly friends that will pray for me and I will pray for them. But another thing that I always pray is that the Lord will sever ties with people that I don’t need to be in relationships with.
So I hope that these tidbits of wisdom help and remind you that friendships are wonderful but be careful about who you let into your life. Have a great weekend!
Good Morning Mrs. Shockley, another beneficial post. I hope you enjoy your weekend. Thanks.
Hello Alyiah,
Thank you and you have a wonderful weekend as well!
This can be a challenge working at a small company with everyone in such close proximity. Some of the women can act very cliquey. We have a group chat messenger and I try to stay off it as much as possible, as it often turns very negative, complaining about clients and whatnot. In the past, I have found myself engaging (who likes a miserable client?) but I work every day at trying to rise about it. Do you often find yourself closing your door to block out any office antics?
Kelsie – gar0190
Hello Kelsie,
We have the same thing going on in our office. Cliques… but you know what it's okay because they make it easier to steer clear of.
And yes I will close my door some days because the pettiness and child-like behavior is just too much. It's funny though people don't like it when I close my door. It bothers them and I don't know why. Oh well. It sounds like you know what you are doing and you know when something could be a problem. Don't worry Kelsie. Because you desire wisdom you will have it. You will always rise above it.
Hi Mrs. Shockley,
While I don't work in an office environment, I do communicate with my peers remotely via email and oh my goodness..some of them are petty and rude. I often wonder if they would be the same if we worked in an office setting. You know-I just try my best to stay in my lane. But I do think, why do they want to waste their energy on being mean. I feel it's easier to be respectful and kind.
Kindly,
Mya
Hi Mya,
Emails can be a nightmare. They can make things so much worse than what they really are. I was just talking about how if people were face to face with the people that they are trashing online they would turn into cowards. Most people are passive aggressive and would not say a word to people in person. It's hard sometimes trying to navigate such individuals but I tell myself I am up for the task. I agree with you Mya. It's much easier to be pleasant.