Common Introduction Mistakes
Good Morning,
Boy this week flew by. I don’t really have plans. Our daughter is going to Kings Island with her brother on Saturday so we will have the day to ourselves. Mr. Shockley and I may have dinner and I may run my normal errands but we don’t have much planned. I do need to send my iRobot Roomba in for repair. It is not working right. I need little Alfred to help me keep the house in order. I do miss him and his daily vacuuming.
Okay in today’s post I wanted to share more tips from my Emily Post Etiquette book. Have you ever screwed up an introduction with someone? You got nervous and asked something that you feel like you should not have? I have and love getting tips on what not to say and what to say.
The first thing you should NOT do is look away. Eye contact is critical in an introduction. People who look over others’ shoulders and around the room while involved in introductions are saying by their actions that they really don’t care.
I ALWAYS try to make sure that I am looking at someone when speaking to them. I want that person to feel like their presence is welcome and so is the conversation.
photo credit: MainehouseBlogspot.com
Next was making too-personal comments. This gets a LOT of people in trouble. Divorces, bereavements, job losses, illnesses, and/or rehab history are topics too intimate to raise during an introduction. I never ask personal questions. But I am always amazed at what people ask or feel like they have the right to know.
The third is interrupting. When others are engaged in serious conversation, don’t break in to introduce someone else. Wait for a more convenient moment.
photo credit: Pottery Barn.com
The fourth is deferring to one person at the expense of the other. Be sure that both parties are included in any conversation that follows an introduction. The fifth tip is gushing. Most people are embarrassed by overly enthusiastic introductions.
And the last tip is making someone wait to be introduced. When someone new joins a group already in conversation, put the conversation on hold and make the introduction. “Excuse me. Hi, Jane, nice to see you. Have you met Abby and Jack?”
I hope you all have found some value in these tips. It is always nice to have reminders. It is amazing how good manners do follow you. My husband went to the car wash recently and he was telling them that I was his wife and one of the team members said, “Your wife is always kind to us and we appreciate that”.
People are watching. Have a great weekend!
Tips from Emily Posts Etiquette, page 18
I’m guilty of saying too much at times. You live and you learn. I want to blame social media, (v)blogs/chat rooms/forums/YouTube and reality tv for the oversharing phenomenon. It could just be the times morphing to a way of living that I’m not comfortable with. There was a time, not too long ago where people just knew certain topics were off limits. It was impolite to even think of asking these things. Nowadays everything is out in the open and nothing seems to be off limits. I recall in the early 2000s a blog post about bedroom habits with the spouse and the comments made me blush. People spoke/typed so openly and freely conversing about a most private interaction. I had to quit reading it. Outside of your spouse and perhaps a physician, no one needs to know these things. When you have to preface a statement with this is TMI you probably should rethink sharing that detail. I was in a group setting and one person remarked how someone in the group had on an expensive timepiece and asked “how much money do you make to afford that”? The horror? The person who asked wasn’t able to pick up that this line of questioning was inappropriate by others in the group clues. The person was so mortified at that question they removed themselves from the group. Perhaps when life opens back up again, we will have done some self improvement and have recalled these treasured practices and begin to use them more frequently. I can only hope💗😁
Oh my goodness yes! Some of the things I hear some of my co-workers share baffles me! I have in some cases stopped people and told them, “I don’t want to know that”. When I say it I make them feel uncomfortable because they are so used to sharing it all. I hope we can go back to simpler times but I think people have gotten okay with oversharing.