The Soul of Civility ~ Author Meet & Greet

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Good Morning Everyone,

I hope you all had a wonderful weekend. My weekend was a tad bit longer. We got MLK day off so having that extra day was so helpful. I finished taking down all my Christmas decorations and was able to purge more items! I always feel good when I am able to drop off stuff at the Goodwill. Always a good feeling.

I am now in deep 2024 planning. I discussed a few things on my recently recorded YouTube video. I will link it below if I have it finished by the time, I share this blog post.

In my video I talked about my word of the year and how I was letting myself become frustrated with things and how I was beginning to pull back and allow myself to think and stay composed. That got me thinking about my recent meet and greet with author Alexandra Hudson and her book called the Soul of Civility.

In the first chapter, Alexandra mentions Dr. King’s “Letter from Birmingham Jail” and begins to talk about the difference between civility and politeness. She said, “King wrote that racist laws gave the segregator a false sense of superiority and the segregated a false sense of inferiority. Like segregation, incivility deforms the soul of both the abuser and the abused. Also, like segregation, incivility often originates from an inaccurately low view of personhood. Often, people lash out at others because of their own inaccurate view of self. This can manifest in their deriving their validation in abusing others; but harming others only makes them feel lesser. Appreciating the gift of being human and realizing that when we hurt others with our incivility, we hurt ourselves – is central to reclaiming basic decency in our world.” 

 

photo credit: Mrs. Shockley 

 

Alexandra said, “Civility- the motivation behind our conduct that sees other persons as our moral equals and worthy of basic respect- is much deeper, richer, and of greater import than politeness, or external compliance with rules of etiquette. Politeness and manners are the form, the technique, of an act, but civility is more.” 

 

 

I could tell that Alexandra was genuinely interested in each person that came up to her during our meet and greet. Before signing a copy of her book, she asked me what I loved in life and what I did. I told her and this is what she wrote in my book, “Thank you for your passion for beauty! It will heal our broken world”. Love Lexi… 

Her words on civility truly had me thinking about how I think of others and treat them. Am I just being polite, or do I look at them with dignity and inherently valuable? 

 

photo credit: K. Cuppy

 

Alexandra had a very elegant bearing about her when I met her, and you can tell that she does see others with dignity and value. I hope that you can order her book and let it inspire you as well as educate you. 

 

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“And Why are We Living this Way?”

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Good Morning Everyone,

I have had a very busy week! Lots of meetings and Zoom calls! I am looking forward to the extended weekend. I plan on finally taking down all of my Christmas decor. I have been so ready to get everything put up but with my recent closet organization project, I knew that it would take up my entire weekend and it did!

I also need to stop by Bath and Body Works. I want to get some spring scents for my home but I may need to check my cabinets. I think I already have a stash of candles waiting. I also need to film a YouTube video or maybe post a short. We will see what I can get done.

Now what is the deal with this title you may ask? Well, I will be glad to tell you. 

For the last few weeks, I have been doing things around the home and to my frustration things have been broken, I can’t find it, it’s not organized, and so on and so on. So, the phrase, “why am I living like this”, came out of my mouth. As soon as those words came out it was like a revelation. My mind said, “well why are we”? There are so many tools, tips and tricks out there that honestly, we are without excuse not to bring order to our lives. 

I will start with these few things…

 

 

First is my new battery organizer from Amazon. So my husband had a giant sandwich bag of batteries, and they were just stuffed in one of our drawers in the kitchen. Every time we opened that drawer to look for something the bag of batteries would be in the way, some would come out, and I just said out loud, “why are we living this way”! So, I ordered this. Easy fix! And you know what? I had been dealing with that for over a year! A year people! Ridiculous! 

 

photo credits: Mrs. Shockley 

 

Next was my mouse. I have been wanting a white mouse for years for my downtown office and other staff kept saying, “can’t the office just order you one”? Well, a few months ago I had a “why am I living like this” moment and I just decided to order one myself from Amazon. Then when I would take my laptop home to work from home the next day, I would stuff my mouse in my laptop case. I then thought, “why don’t I just order my mouse its own case”? So, I ordered this case from Amazon. Problem solved! 

 

 

Now we move to my car. Now I shared a few things that I purchased for my car last year, but there were still some things that I wanted to get for it. I loved my other purchases so much that I decided to finish my list. I went ahead and ordered this car trash can. I absolutely LOVE this thing! Oh my goodness! It’s a great addition to my car. It comes in a set of 2. 

 

 

Then I moved on to my closet. I have been wanting to re-organize my closet for months. I will be honest; this is what it looked like before I got to work on it. This is the worst it has ever been! I sort of just let my shelves go for a few weeks until my new organizational items came.  

 

photo credits: Mrs. Shockley 

 

Here is the end result! I felt like I was not using my space in the proper way. I wanted my shelving system to have more of a boutique feel. So I just and looked at it and figured out what I needed. I knew that I wanted to see my sunglasses, so I ordered this sunglass display, and it looks so much better! I also put my sunglass cases in a box next to them for easy access.

 

 

I also purchased these purse organizers to separate my cosmetic bags and wallets. 

 

 

 

 

Next were my totes. I have been wondering about these tote hangers from Amazon for a while now. So I decided to order one pack and I could not be happier! Oh my goodness! I love them!

 

 

And last on my list were my robes. Now I only have a few but I wanted them in a more centralized area. They were on hangers in a different section in my closet and I never saw most of them. I want to be able to see them and use them so I purchased this over the door hanger rack. It has worked our marvelously! 

I now feel like I have a better system going on in my closet. I am using my space in a way that benefits me and it looks beautiful. Since I did a closet purge, I am selling some of my items on my Poshmark closet. Take a look and make an offer if you want! 

Oh and I almost forgot! My boutique has a new arrival. The Gatsby pearl necklace is available for purchase. It would look lovely with a pair of the blush Cameo earrings! Have a great weekend!

 

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My Word of the Year…

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Good Morning Everyone,

It is the first full week of 2024 and I have my word of the year. Well, I have my phrase of the year and it is “radiate calm”. My post from 2018 popped in my head a few days ago. That quote, “radiate calm” really spoke to me. I have had several moments in 2023 where I felt like becoming unhinged. I let things really get to me instead of maintaining a quiet spirit. Maybe that should be my phrase for the year.

I went back to my post. I still can’t believe that I read the book and wrote this post 6 years ago. The book provided four ways to radiate calm under any circumstance. 1) Stay composed, 2) Avoid drama, 3) Find common ground and 4) Maintain perspective. 

I can recall several moments where I should have used those tips! I have decided to take these four tips and for every week for this entire year I will write one of those tips for the week in my Day Designer to remind me what to focus on.

Another tip or thing that I do is pray and try to breathe deeply. I want to keep my mind and emotions in order. Last year was so full of changes that I felt like I did not have perspective. As I get older that has become very important to me.

 

photo credit: L. Shockley 

 

As I begin 2024, I am trying to remain hopeful that staying composed, praying, and keeping perspective will help me to radiate calm this year. 

Enjoy your week!

 

 

My Small Tour of the Columbia Club

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Good Morning,

I am so ready for the weekend. I plan on cleaning up my entire walk-in closet. I ordered a lot of organizational supplies from Amazon. I will be sure to share what I order. I want to clean it out and turn it into my very own boutique. I am looking forward to it.

Lauren will be going back to college this weekend. I am a little sad. We will miss her! Earlier this week one of my Guild friends invited me and a few others over for a late lunch. It was marvelous! She made salmon, lamb chops, red potatoes, asparagus, couscous, polenta, salad and a homemade apple and pear pie. It was sooo good!

 

photo credit: Mrs. Shockley 

She set a beautiful table for us for lunch. 

 

 

What a beautiful lunch! It was such a wonderful time and a great way to start the new year. Then another Guild friend a few weeks prior invited me to lunch and a tour of the Columbia Club. 

 

photo credits: Mrs. Shockley

 

The Columbia Club is a private social club. There is fine dining, fitness, wellness facilities, offices, conference rooms and hotel rooms. I have worked downtown for many years and was ALWAYS curious about this club.

When Sue took me to this room, I thought WOW! I could throw a party here if I was a member. 

 

 

Loving the details.

 

 

There were so many different conference rooms and party rooms. Each one decorated differently. This particular room had all of the blue and white. 

 

 

 

 

This space is used for weddings. Just think as a member you could be using this space. 

 

 

 

 

photo credit: My dear friend

 

Sue took me to all of the office spaces which I could use if I became a member. There is also a hotel which you could stay. There is a spa, and lots of events for members. It was a great experience, and I was so grateful that I got to see it. After looking around we had lunch in the French Room. I order their delicious Harvest Apple Salad. It was so good! I am thinking about getting a membership and if I do, I will be sure to share more about this fantastic club!

 I hope you all have a great weekend!

 

 

 

My Visit to the RH Indianapolis

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Good Morning Everyone,

“Taking a deep breath”…. let 2024 begin! I still don’t have my word for the year, but I think it will come to me very soon. I will not rush it. I know that I want to work on my schedule this year and try not to be so busy. That is at the top of my list. Organization is still at the top of my list as well. I have already started with a few small things.

I am hoping that more “elegant adventures” will be coming down the pipe this year. I visited a lot of beautiful places in 2023. I hope that the Lord will allow me to see more beautiful things. I do have an upcoming work trip to Viriginia in July. I am looking forward to that. I hope to slide in a historical home tour and maybe some antique shopping before I began my busy week there. 

My husband and I recently got to visit the former estate of philanthropist Christel DeHaan. No one was sure what was going to happen to this beautiful Palladian inspired villa, but I am happy to report that RH has taken over and I could not be happier!

 

photo credit: RH.com

I still can’t believe that this estate is here! The rumor is Ms. DeHaan lived her with just her staff. If that is true, that is incredible! This property is about 42,00 square feet. It is so big! 

 

photo credit: Mrs. Shockley

This was me and my husband approaching the property from the somewhat long drive to it. This house was located pretty far from the busy street on Michigan. I hope you got to see my reel on Instagram about it. 

 

 

Valet parking is available, but we decided to park the car ourselves and walk up to this beautiful villa. 

 

 

 

Walking in we were greeted by a wonderful team of hostess. They provided all the information we need to guide ourselves through the 42k square feet and helped us with drinks and reservations!

 

photo credits: Mrs. Shockley 

 

I was trying to listen to the hostess as she was explaining everything but I could not take my eyes off of the entryway. I loved the antique inspired statutes and marble floor. I just kept thinking is this original to the home or no?

 

 

These gilded mirrors… oh my!

 

 

photo credits: Mrs. Shockley 

 

These hallways. For just a short moment I pretended that I lived here. I looked to my right and pretended that my English garden of roses was there and that I was on my way to my room for a cup of tea.

 

 

Of course, I could not resist talking a selfie in these gorgeous, gilded mirrors! I was very comfortable and felt put together. If you like my faux fur scarf you can shop a similar one here. My wrap you can find a similar one here, my shoes are from Ann Taylor (last season) and my tote is the On the Go by Louis Vuitton. 

 

 

Each room was decorated with simplicity but lots of elegance. 

 

 

My husband and I wanted to try a drink and decided to get the RH bellini with peach puree and prosecco. It was marvelous! So good!

 

 

Walking around the gallery….

 

 

Another elegant bedroom 

 

 

After walking around we sat down for our dinner reservations. I got the rotisserie chicken salad with butter lettuce, lemon and, chives. The taste was really good but I wanted a few more veggies in my salad. I LOVED the sweet potato fries with the rosemary aioli. So good! My husband got the filet with truffle fries. 

 

photo credits: Mrs. Shockley

 

We had a really wonderful time and plan to return in the spring. We want to venture outside a little more and see the gardens in bloom in the spring. If you live in Indy I would encourage you to go and see the property! It is truly a dream. I know that some of my friends from the Guild want to go for a visit so I might be returning with them. 

Have a wonderful day!

 

 

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Being Elegant in Public…

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Ready to celebrate the new year? Me…. I am not sure yet. With each new year I know that there should be excitement but for me I am always apprehensive. I never know what to expect for the upcoming year.

I do need to figure out my word for the year and I do know that organizing is at the top of my list this year along with getting my greenhouse installed! I have been on the hunt for small organizational tools and will be sure to share what I order and end up using from Amazon. 

I really want to get my schedule under control. I hope that some recent changes at work will help with that. I also want to get the carpet replaced upstairs this year. Some many home to-dos. 

Continuing with my elegant appearance as best as I can is always number one and the photo below is one of the number reasons why I dress my best every day. 

 

 

Yes, this is a photo of me. So about two years back my family and I were at an ice-skating event, and they had some news anchors there. What I did not know was they were filming the event for their recent news story. 

I was caught in some of the footage, and they have been using it ever since. So, every year now for the last two years people text me and my husband saying that “I was on the news”!  But no one has been able to send me a snapshot until this year. 

When I got this photo I thought, “okay I look put together” because honestly you just never know how you might be caught on camera. I then looked at my husband and said, “You see this is exactly why you should always try to look your best”. You never know who or what is around you. I have said this so many times on my blog. Always look your best. If you need any ideas for a new year resolution, let this be one. Have a great weekend and Happy New Year!

 

 

 

December Favorites ~ 2023

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Oh my goodness friends, I hope you all have been well and had a wonderful Christmas! I had a wonderful Christmas but boy was I sick! I don’t know if I got food poisoning or if it was upset stomach, but I was down for the count last Thursday thru Saturday. I didn’t feel better until Tuesday of this week! It was horrible! I couldn’t move and liquid was leaving my body from every hole possible. Ugghhhh!

But I got through Christmas, that sounds so bad but I did. My family could tell that I was exhausted and was gracious and helped out a lot. I got some great gifts. I got some gift cards to my favorite places but one gift that stood out to me was my Hermes pop-up book that was given to me from a co-worker! It’s fabulous! I will share photos soon.

Now let’s continue with my December favorites…

 

 

First on my list are my wreaths that I picked up at Michaels. They were on sale, and I have been on the hunt for quite some time. I added them to my stair rail and could not be happier. I do want some thicker ones but what I could do is order two more to have for next year and just add those to the ones I have for a thicker look. I added some satin ribbons as well. 

 

photo credits: Mrs. Shockley 

 

In addition to the satin ribbon, I got some houndstooth ribbon from Michaels as well. I dressed some of our gifts with it. My husband was a fan!

 

 

More beautiful boxes… I was so surprised when the Estee Lauder counter ladies gave me these beautiful Chanel gift boxes. They are very small but fit perfectly on my vanity as Christmas decor. I will be sure to add them next year as well. 

 

 

The fourth item was my new Julie Vos Monaco cuff. This cuff has literally been on my list for almost a year. I was so happy when they dropped the price by $100 and then I got 20% off! Yay! 

 

photo credits: Mrs. Shockley 

 

My fifth favorite has been my home office. That’s right being home as much as possible this month has meant the world to me. I loved my Christmas decor, holiday candles, snuggle blankets, and delicious treats. Every time that I had a day to be home, I did not want to leave! My space truly made me happy this holiday season. 

 

photo credit: Laudree.com

 

Okay, I saw a LOT of advent calendars this year but this was the first advent calendar that I REALLY WANTED and sadly did not get. It was Laudree’s 2023 Advent calendar and it was gorgeous! I saw it on Instagram and stalked it for weeks. I told my husband, but he did not order it in time. It’s okay. I will be stalking Poshmark for the next several months. Someone is selling their advent calendar from last year but I don’t want that one. I want this year’s so we will see. I also fell in love with the Dior advent calendar but that one was almost $1,000! I will be stalking Poshmark for that one as well. 

 

And lastly…

 

Have you all seen this video from Helen Mirren? It is wonderful! I looked up some of her beautiful products and I ordered them from Amazon. I ordered her L’Oreal hydrating lip balm, and the L’Oreal Perfect Rosey Tone face cream. I’ll let you all know if I like them. 

I hope you all enjoy this month’s favorites. I have some beautiful tours to share with you all very soon! 

 

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