Elegant Living Archives - A Home for Elegance

Overcoming Hesitations- Living with Quality

February 20, 2025/0 Comments/in Elegant Living, Inspiring Posts /by mrs.sshockley

Good Morning Everyone,

I have recently been having some “feelings about things”. I have been having this “feeling of quality” or a desire for quality which explains my title for this week’s blog post.

It could be the books that I am reading, the old movies that I am watching, but I am having this desire for beauty and quality. Have you ever had that? You are in a store, and you are looking at something. The price is great, but the quality of the item does not satiate that desire that you have. I have had this feeling multiple times when buying bags, jewelry, furniture, flowers, I mean you name it. It has been happening in some of my current shopping experiences.

I can’t explain it but while I am out and about I have this feeling of things needing to be better and it could be society that is bringing on these thoughts, but I just want better. I used to be afraid of wanting better but not anymore. That fear is slowly leaving my emotions.

photo credit: Instagram

I purchased this book sometime last year. It is an eBook that unfortunately it is not available right now. There was a section in the book that inspired the title of this blog post. The author Miranda stated, “I understand that the thought of using tableware can be a bit dauting. There is often a fear of mishandling or misplacing something so steeped in history and value. But here’s the thing- these pieces were crafted to be admired and used, not just displayed. And you deserve to use them to create extraordinary moments in your life”.

I don’t care how much something costs or how “fancy” it is use it!

That is why I continue to live the way I do. This is my newest FBMP purchase! It is a vintage or antique wardrobe. I believe it is from the 1950s. It is sold and the maker is Hickory Manfacturing Company since 1911. The company is known for their high quality craftmanship and timeless designs. This wardrobe is a solid piece, and I cannot wait to put it to use. I gasped when I saw it on FBMP.

photo credit: Mrs. Shockley

The photo above is my kitchen counter. I recently purchased this bust from HomeGoods and the plate is from an antique store. It is Limoges china. I now know that I have a deep passion for elegant things and elegant living. I can’t seem to separate it from any part of my life. When I styled this counter and stood back and looked at it, I just smiled. I am overcoming hesitations. Why not have antiques in your kitchen!

My sitting room currently.

Another tidbit that Miranda mentioned in her book in regard to her tableware was, ” Antique tableware is not merely a collection of objects, it is a tapestry with history, art and legacy. These pieces carry an elegance and sophistication that modern items seldom capture. They hold the power to transform a simple meal into a grand affair, turning the ordinary into the extraordinary. In a world where everything feels so transient, these antiques offer a tangible connection to the past- a bridge to bygone eras of charm and elegance”.

I could not agree more. I think that this quote from Miranda can be used in every item in our lives. Our furniture, china, clothes, shoes, accessories. I want my life as a whole to be a tapestry. Everything should be connected to elegance and sophistication. It should be made of quality. I really want to live a life with quality and for my life to be quality. What are your thoughts on quality? Do you seek it as well?

To read more about Miranda here is a blog post about her on Maison Carlyle. Also let me know in the comments below if you purchased her eBook!

Want to hear someone express how important quality is? Just listen to the current owner of Hermes express his thoughts on quality. It’s truly inspiring!

Inspiration for Simple Luxuries at Work

February 12, 2025/0 Comments/in Elegant Living, Inspiring Posts /by mrs.sshockley

Hello,

Can it really be the middle of February? I still can’t believe that Valentine’s Day is this Friday. I told my husband that I only wanted a book and that was it. I don’t have a lot on my list this year.

I hope everyone is doing well. I am still reading my goals and listening to some great podcasts in the mornings while I am driving to my office. I had to share something that I listen to recently and it made me think that maybe I needed to update my list.

Now I have shared new things that I have purchased for my office in the last few years, and they are scattered in the many blog posts that I have so I thought I needed to combine everything into a current post of what my offices look like today.

Now I have two. I have an office downtown for my regular job, and I have an office at home for the blog, home life, the boutique, and my telework days. I love learning from other women what things they have added to their lives in order to bring about elegance to it. Especially with everything going on in our worlds now. I listen to Kaylee Hackney’s podcast called “Simple Ways to Add Luxury to your Workday” and I thought that I would share her list so that maybe we all can get some inspiration for our spaces.

First on her list is gourmet coffee. Now I am not a coffee drinker, but I do love my teas and I have shared my favorite tea which is Harney’s and my vanilla chai tea that I buy from Kroger. I did get a Nespresso machine and talk about lux! I love that thing, and it does start off my morning in luxury!

This is my morning luxury. My vanilla chai tea and foam oatmilk that I am pouring into Royal Albert Old Country Roses teacup and saucer. Use your best at work if you can.

Her second item was fresh flowers. Of course! These are always a part of my luxury items for work and if you have not tried having these around you by now then take a leap! They are so affordable at the grocery store and sometimes on clearance! Give this lux a chance seriously!

Now her third idea was a flameless candle. Now I have not considered this, but this sounds like a great idea! I love a little light in my office. I have lamps around but if space is an issue, then this could be a great lux idea! I saw these on Amazon as well as these and these.

Next up is a standing desk. Now I have not thought of these either but what a great idea. I have had one of these before but the one I had a work was much heavier. This one here looks like a great option!

Of course, I could not forget a wonderful and comfortable office chair! You all know that I purchased this last year and have no regrets. As you know there are several on Amazon. I did find these for only $65! This is my current office now. I enjoy it so much!

photo credits: Mrs. Shockley

A simple luxury for work that you may have not thought about are pens and pads. I cannot tell you how important these items are if you work in an office setting. Having great working pens and notepads at your figure tips is a great luxury. I purchased these notepads and pens from Amazon and love them both. These pens are blue ink! My favorite! I love blue ink. Don’t forget about these sophisticated clipboards from Notiq as well as the pen cases. I have both!

Another item that I just got for my office is the space heater. She mentions it in her list and she is right! Having this for this season of winter has been a game changer. My office is so cold in the mornings. I just hit my remote control for my heater and warmth comes my way. It’s a luxury for sure.

We cannot forget about cord organizers. I just got these from Amazon and they work magnificently. I got a pack of ten so that I can use them in my office, car and home. She mentions noise cancelling headphones in her blog post. I have never tried these before but may consider them for traveling. I do love my ear buds for listening to my favorite podcasts. She also mentions artwork and I could not agree more. I would just recommend buying what you love and buy quality. A lamp for your desk is a must. I have two lamps in my office and love having them both. I love Jonathan Y lamps and purchased this one about 3 years ago. There are so many more things that I could add to this list. A few more items of work luxury would be a wonderful work tote, stapler (I love this one), or get a set for your desk. You will be amazed at what this will do for you work life.

I hope everyone enjoyed these tips and I certainly enjoyed Kaylee’s podcast. If you have a moment, you should listen to her podcast. You can also read her blog post and find more inspiring ideas for your lux office. Life is short, make it beautiful!

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Word of the Year ~ 2025

January 16, 2025/7 Comments/in Elegant Living, Inspiring Posts /by mrs.sshockley

Good Morning!

It’s still cold but manageable. I do miss my morning walks. I need them now since I am seeing so many things in the news. My goodness… California. I didn’t realize that the fires were that bad until this weekend when I actually got a chance to sit and watch the news. My goodness… North Carolina is still struggling from the hurricane. So many things Lord, so many. My mornings walks would always help be sort things out in my mind. I am back on my elliptical for the next few months because the mornings are so cold here.

Now as you can see from my title of this blog post I will be sharing my word of the year. For me it is never just one word. My words are always phrases. It always takes me a few days before the end of the year to get my phrase, but it usually comes because of some life event. This year it came because of a recent activity that I did with a therapist. I may share that later, but my word of the year or phrase of the year is “be present”.

Now I catch myself and I have been doing this most of my life, thinking about the future or the past. Those thoughts in most cases provided a distraction from something that I was dealing with at the moment. Now my goal is to be present. In happiness, and sadness. Be present!

I have also started my new planner. Jennifer from the Daily Connoisseur recently shared her planners. I am normally a Day Designer kind of girl but this year I decided to try a new planner called Planned & Proper.

photo credit: Mrs. Shockley

This planner is exceptional! I was not sure how it was going to work for me, but it is a perfect fit for my life! I had my name added to the first page, so personalization is an option. The third page is your word of the year page! You write it down along with your thoughts. There are pages for plans or projects, book goals, and brainstorming your big ideas. The daily format is a winner. It provides a section for your top 3 priorities, to-do list, current goals for the day, a timeline, self-care section and daily gratitude. I mean each day has those items for you to jot down!

This planner has so much! There is a body & wellness page for the year, a place for you to map out your goals for your social life and friendship goals, career and business, financial, home and family, spiritual and creativity! It truly forces you to think about your life for the year. Using this planner and brainstorming about your life will take a few days. It’s not some basic planner that you can just jot down a few things. It really does encourage you to think big about your year in detail. It took me about 2 days to fill out my lists for the year and now I just keep going back to them to keep myself on track.

Let me know in the comments section below what planner you are using and if you have already tried this planner. Also share you word of the year. I think this maybe a repurchase for me next year!

Enjoy your week!

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Etiquette for Life- Q & A with Dr. Minju Witte

December 10, 2024/4 Comments/in Elegant Living, Inspiring Posts /by mrs.sshockley

Good Morning Friends!

It is cold as can be here. It got into the low teens, and I have pulled out my winter boots! I don’t know about you, but I am pooped! I am finishing up the last things on my Christmas to-do list and gearing up for 4 holiday luncheons. With all of this in mind I began to think about people. The holidays can be the worse times to deal with people because they are everywhere around this time of the year. Because of this I decided to look for an etiquette coach earlier this year to give me a little guidance.

I ended up finding a coach that was located here in Indianapolis! Her name was Dr. Minju Witte, and I thought I would take a chance and reach out to see if she would have a Zoom meeting with me and she did. We ended up talking about so many things and at that point I realized that I was making a friend. Minju was so kind, soft spoken, and real! She was honest and real about life and her answers to etiquette.

I then asked if she would come and speak at my office for our Women’s Leadership Initiative group and she agreed! I was thrilled. My office enjoyed her presentation so much that they requested she come back and do a second presentation! Of course, I will be booking that soon, but I could not stop there! I then asked if she would be willing to do a Q & A here on the blog and of course she agreed! I posted a question on my Instagram stories asking my followers if they could ask an etiquette coach whatever they wanted what would they ask? The best questions came in and I am sharing Minju’s answers! I hope that you enjoy these, save them, and use them.

1. How do you respond to envy because you are classy?

One of the key traits I value in friendships is the ability to feel genuinely happy for others. Envy often stems from insecurity, but the elegant approach is to channel that energy into inspiration rather than negativity. When faced with envy, maintain your grace and don’t allow toxic energy to disrupt your peace. A true sense of class lies in staying centered and compassionate, even in the face of such challenges.

2. What are five books you would recommend for learning elegance?

Instead of focusing solely on “how-to” books on elegance, I believe true elegance is cultivated by observing and appreciating beauty in daily life—whether through art, films, travel, or even the unexpected details like a striking color combination in a shop window. Elegance is a mindset of curiosity and attentiveness.

Here are five books that inspire an elegant approach to life:

Christian Dior: Designer of Dreams – A stunning exploration of Dior’s artistry and vision.
La Seduction: How the French Play the Game of Life by Elaine Sciolino – A cultural guide to the French way of life.
Emily Post’s Etiquette, The Centennial Edition – A timeless classic on social grace and modern etiquette.
At Home with Madame Chic: Becoming a Connoisseur of Daily Life by Jennifer L. Scott – A celebration of daily elegance.
Mind Your Manners: How to Be Your Best Self in Any Situation by Sara Jane Ho – A practical guide to cultivating poise.

photo credit: Mrs. Shockley

This is Dr. Minju Witte at my office doing a presentation called “Civility in the Workplace” in September of this year!

3. How do you stay elegant amidst life’s chaos, especially without elegant role models?

Elegance is about embracing the beauty of everyday life, even in the midst of chaos. Romanticize your routine—savor that morning tea, wear something lovely at home just for yourself, or take pride in small rituals that bring you joy.

Our social media-driven world often ties value to external validation, but true elegance starts with celebrating yourself, for yourself. Dress well because it uplifts your spirit, not because others might notice. Elegance is a deeply personal journey of finding joy in simplicity and cultivating grace within, no matter the circumstances.

4. How do you resist the urge to be overly blunt when expressing opinions?

Before expressing your opinion, ask yourself: Is it true, helpful, inspiring, necessary, and kind? This filter ensures your words have purpose and elegance.

If you’re addressing disrespect or asserting boundaries, approach with honesty that is firm yet benevolent. As an etiquette trainer, I coach clients on how to communicate with “benevolent honesty,” balancing assertiveness with kindness. Remember, elegance isn’t about avoiding conflict; it’s about addressing it thoughtfully and with integrity.

5. No elbows on the table? What gives?

Etiquette depends on context. If you’re dining casually with friends or family and there’s no food in front of you, resting elbows can be fine. However, in formal settings or cultures like France or England, keeping elbows off the table entirely reflects respect and awareness of tradition.

The key is to be a social chameleon—adapting to your surroundings with ease and grace.

6. What steps should one take to avoid or handle toxic women at the office?

It’s natural to encounter colleagues you wouldn’t choose as friends, but professionalism requires navigating these relationships with tact. Good etiquette doesn’t mean being overly nice or allowing boundaries to be crossed. Instead, it’s a tool for maintaining composure, objectivity, and strong boundaries.

Seek support outside of work—through an etiquette coach or other resources—to strengthen your strategies for dealing with toxicity. Remember, toxic behavior says more about the other person’s struggles than about you. Stay focused on your goals and protect your energy.

7. How should one handle hearing others gossip about them?

Let them. Protecting your peace and joy is far more important than attempting to control others’ opinions. Gossip reflects more about the gossiper than it does about you.

Instead, focus on the truth of your own life. Do you respect and love how you’re living? If not, make the changes you need to find joy. Cultivate friendships rooted in trust and mutual respect and let the noise of gossip fade into the background. Truth always prevails, and the only narrative that truly matters is the one you create for yourself.

Photo credit: A. Bryan

Dr. Witte and I at my office presentation in September of this year.

THIS WAS SOOO GOOD! I truly hope that you all found what you needed in this interview. I know that I will be printing this out and taking it to my office to look at every day. I will also be printing it out for my home office. There are so many nuggets of wisdom in this Q & A. I will also be ordering some of these books! Now I am already a Jennifer L. Scott fan so I have her books, but I will be adding the others to her collection as well. I asked Dr. Witte if she would be willing to record a Zoom call with me discussing these questions and anything else that we can come up with and she said Yes! I will be scheduling that with her soon and will be sure to share the video! Fingers crossed I can get it figured out. If you are in the Indianapolis area reach out to Dr. Witte. She is professional, lovely, and would be a fantastic speaker for your business or school. Private lessons are available as well.

Let me know your thoughts below and enjoy your week!

* affiliate links attached

A Canopy for My Bed

November 14, 2024/4 Comments/in Elegant Living, Home Décor /by mrs.sshockley

Good Morning!

I am tried but I managed to get a lot done this weekend. I only have the produce items left on my Thanksgiving dinner list, we only have a few Christmas items left to buy, and my Christmas are up and the house is decorated! It’s a good feeling when those items are checked off my list. I have some beautiful new finds on my favorites page here on the website.

I don’t really like to talk politics on my blog or on my social media platforms but all I have to say is I just pray. For whatever president is in office, I always pray. I don’t care what side that they are on. I just pray because I still believe in the Lord. The Lord has always taken care of me and my family regardless of who is in power. In the words of Charles Stanley, you fight your battles on your knees, and you’ll win every time. Now let’s move on.

I will be sending out a black Friday/Cyber Monday newsletter here soon. I will be offering a discount code for all items on the boutique’s website so stay tuned.

Have I mentioned my desire to have a canopy above my bed? I think that I have especially during last year’s show house.

Photo credits: Mrs. Shockley

Seeing this room last year, designed by Sassy Green Interiors, inspired me to actually take a leap of faith and attempt to accomplish this in any way that I could. I have been toying around with this idea for years and I mean years! But actually, seeing it in person, and speaking with MaryEllen and Christy gave me the confidence to just try it and if it didn’t work then it’s not the end of the world.

I searched on the web and managed to find this DIY canopy frame on Etsy. It comes in multiple sizes. It ended up ordering the 54 inches and it was a perfect fit for our California King.

The installation was pretty simple, and the product is a simple product. I was a bit worried about it begin too big but once my husband got it secured to the wall, and we added the curtains I was a happy camper!

It took my husband about an hour to get it hung up and to add the curtains. I knew that I wanted green, or emerald-colored curtains. I don’t know why but that is what my heart wanted. I found these at HomeGoods as well as the chinoiserie inspired Martha Stewart curtains. If you are looking for similar curtains you may find some here, here, here, and here.

I love how it turned out. I love all of the colors and different textures. Now of course this will change as the years go by but for right now, I am happy. If you are interested in my peacock pillow cover you will find it here. I also found this gorgeous one with green. I also purchased these white pillow covers for my three large pillows, and I love these! This bed skirt is on our bed as well.

photo credits: Mrs. Shockley

Sometimes you just have to take a risk in your home. I had a co-worker recently ask me about some linens she is considering for her home and one linen she really loved and she said, “oh I can’t use that”, and I asked why. She said, “isn’t that linen just for bedrooms”. That comment really sadden me a little because I thought you should be free to try things in your home wherever you want and that is what I told her. If you want to use this linen in your living room, then use it! Life is short, take some risk!

I hope you enjoyed today post and remember take some risk in your home. It’s your beauty, enjoy it!

*Affiliated links attached

A Garden and Autumn Dinner with the Girls

October 9, 2024/5 Comments/in Elegant Living /by mrs.sshockley

Good Morning Friends,

I can NOT believe how warm it still is. Honestly, it’s driving me nuts! I hate this. It’s October. I know that at this moment I could not live in a warmer climate. I love the cooler temperatures. It’s still 80 degrees here.

Sorry for my rant, let us move on. I recently printed out my Christmas list. I am trying to get started with that. Since it is almost the middle of October I feel like I need to get started on Christmas shopping.

I am still organizing my home and replacing items bit by bit. I recently organized all of our family photos. It took me hours but I feel great that this is now done. I had brunch with my brother in law this past weekend and then went to HomeGoods afterwards. I believe I just found my curtains for my canopy project. I shared them on a reel recently.

I have been trying to capture beauty in my life. With so many things coming up, I just want to try to enjoy life whenever I can. Which is why my “girl’s days and dinners have become some important to me.

photo credit: Mrs. Shockley

A few weeks ago I had a girls dinner planned with my Guild friends. We decided to tour the gardens at Newfields. Now I have been here several times but I have never toured the gardens. It was a real treat.

There were small ponds and water features everywhere. I did a Google search on lots of the flowers there. I am always looking for ideas to add to my garden or green house.

It was such a beautiful day. We had the sun, just enough heat and lots of florals. We walked around and chatting about everything under the sun.

My friend Kathy, the little one in the orange jacket, is so outgoing. She wanted to have a photo shoot and wanted to include us in it! I just laughed the whole time but she got me out of my comfort zone. The photo on the right is both of my friends Kathy and Judy.

I could not pass up the Lily House. If you have read this blog long enough then you will know that this is my favorite home. I take inspiration from this every time I see it.

photo credits: Mrs. Shockley

After touring the beautiful gardens we headed to dinner. We had dinner reservations at a restaurant called the Meridian. I have never been here before but was open to visiting a new place.

I got the brussels sprout salad. It had toasted pecans, shallots, pears, and warm apple cider vinaigrette. It was delicious. For my main dish I ordered the Ora King Salmon with turnip and apple harsh, onion, celery, craisins, kale, soy-cashew, aioli. Again so good. We also had a glass of rose wine to toast our dinner!

I can’t tell you how much I needed a girls dinner that day. Having these monthly get-togethers is such a needed luxury in my life. As I stated I never knew how priceless friendships were until recently. My supervisor at my office has been such a excellent example. I have watched her for 3 years go to dinners, host book clubs, and take girl’s trips. Once I saw that I thought, “oh that is what friendship are all about”. You can have fun! I never saw good friendships until now and I want to make sure that I cultivate wonderful friendships with those I love. Nurture those friends!