My Elegance Tested ~ Part 2
Oh, the world is changing so much and the last several weeks have been really, really horrible.
photo credit: Alex Papachristidis Instagram
So I will start with our homeless people here in my city. They have gotten really out of hand. They are really self-entitled (I hate to say that but it is true) and extremely aggressive. Now I have worked downtown for many years and I have never seen it this bad. My co-workers and I have had enough and we are not sure what to do.
My first horrible incident was with a homeless woman who stood beside me at a stoplight. I was leaving Panera and she came and stood next to me. She tried to get my attention but I ignored her because most of our homeless people have been down here for YEARS and just continue to ask for money.
Well, of course, she became irate and just began cussing me out. I continued to ignore her but she began to follow me and continued with her profanity. I turned and told her to go away but she just kept saying, “I can follow you if I want”. Oh boy…. so one of the Panera employees saw her following me and came running out of the store and told her to stop. She did but I had to grab the employee because they began to scream at her making the situation worse.
photo credit Erol Ahmed
The next time was a few weeks ago and I was in my car. Our city has shut down numerous highways and roads due to construction so everyone is upset and impatient. I was simply turning out of my parking lot trying to go home. Now because the traffic was so bad I could not turn completely turn into my lane so some of my vehicle was left into oncoming traffic. No big deal the individuals on the other side simply went around me. Well, there was a man in the OPPOSITE lane of me having a fit because my car was left into oncoming traffic.
Here is the thing I was not in his lane, I was not turning in front of him and what I was doing did not in any way hinder him from moving forward. So he began screaming cuss words at me and I thought are you serious? I am not even in your lane buddy. I did not scream back but just waved him off. Well, he became even more ballistic because I was dismissing him and screamed even more. What was funny was that he did all of that yelling then he cut off some people and cut through the Arby’s parking lot! You can’t be serious!
Here he was trying to yell at me for what he believed was a traffic violation but then committed his own. Wow… I say all of that to say this. The world is changing and some days you feel helpless. Not only is it people around you but it’s your family and co-workers too.
photo credit: Guillaume Lorain
I wanted to scream at both individuals in both of these cases but I didn’t. I maintained a quiet spirit and kept my dignity. It is not always easy but I pray constantly. I don’t want to let people like that win. I always tell myself, “you will never see this person again in about 10 minutes”. Maintain, maintain.
Now with co-workers and families, it’s harder and tricker. But during those times I weigh my relationship with that person and if I need to continue it. In the work area, I in most cases ignore classless co-workers and that bothers them but they get my point.
I hope sharing these stories inspires you and lets you know that you are not alone. Please share your “elegance tested” stories below. I would love to hear how you all rise above it!
If you wish to read my first post about being tested, you may view it here and about my classless co-worker (who is still classless) you may read that here.
Have a great Wednesday and remember to rise above it!
Dear Mrs. Shockley,
This sounds like our city, too. My husband and I were discussing how it seems that everyone is 'angry' these days.
There are no smiles, thank you's for shopping in our store, or any of the other common kindnesses your would expect.
Each week we both say 'I wonder what it will be this week'. It is that bad.
My most recent incident was in a Walmart parking lot where a man 'didn't like the way I parked my car'. He was walking into the store, also. He yelled at me the whole way into the store that I didn't know how to park properly and was following me into the store, continuing his tirade.
Thankfully, I noticed that he was an older vet (his hat had many pins) and I assumed he had some issues. I just kept walking and told one of the ladies at the front of the store what was happening. She was very kind and apologized and said they would watch him.
I stopped going to that particular Walmart because of that incident.
It seems that just leaving the house these days is full of unknowns. We must keep our wits about us, as well as our graciousness.
Take care! Warmly, Kathleen
Hello Kathleen,
Oh Kathleen, you too! You are so right. I now dread leaving my home because the environment everywhere is so bad! With the vets it's so hard. You adore them for serving for your country but when they are disrespectful it makes it so hard.
You want to help and be respectful to them but there are so many things going on in that mind of theirs that you don't want to add to it. I am trying to keep my wits but it's really hard these days.
Even going to get lunch in my city has become horrible. People cutting in front of you, standing right next to you while they are on the phone discussing their "dirty laundry". Sighing….. keeping our grace has become a full time job now. Thank you for commenting Kathleen. It's let's me know that I am not alone.
Kathleen, I have had a similar incident, at Walmart. And in my town, I find many of the shoppers at Walmart are rude. I don't even go there. I don't mind paying a little more money at Target for a piece of mind! My husband cringes at that. Oh well..I am the shopper in this family, after all!
"Classless co-workers" – love the term! I work with three of these type of women daily, and I really try to be extra happy around them – I know it makes them even more angry than they are. They scheme and gossip about me behind my back, and some days are very hard. But I don't talk to them, and always remember to breathe and smile.
Hello DeeJay,
I had to come up with some term for those awful women at work. You have three women? Or dear… that is a lot. I have about three women myself but they are in different departments so it helps that they are spread out a little. I hope things work out DeeJay. Please continue in your grace and thank you so much for sharing!
Hello Mrs. Shockley,
A couple of months ago,my nursing supervisor accused me of charting a physical therapy note(I am an RN) via email.What made it really bad was that she attached our entire team to the email.And didn't even do such. I don't provide physical therapy so I would never do such. She based this off of what a patient told her. Mind you our patients are post OP and heavily medicated. I paused and gave it thought as to how I would respond. I did reply all and respectfully requested that she not accuse me again, and if she has issue or concern, come to me on a personal basis. It's hard. But I am still respectful to her and half smile when I see her. Elegance tested for sure! I love coming to your blog- it's an elegant, cozy spot. I just imagine us in a sitting room, like you see in Victoria magazine.
Oh Mya, you sure are a dear friend! I would love to sit and chit chat all day with you! I wonder why your supervisor would do such a thing. Do you believe she is jealous-hearted? Kudos to your for not playing her game. That's what they want a lot of times. They want to pull you down to their level because they can't rise to yours. This is the only way they can reach you. Continue to rise above it Mya. You have the grace to do so.
I love your mantra of "maintain, maintain." It is a rather elegant way to remember your own personal values and to not let present circumstances override them. I'm definitely going to try that. Thank you for sharing your idea.
Hi Cari,
Thank you for following my blog! I love chatting with my readers. It's great! Yes trying to keep my values in mind is hard when you have someone screaming at you and being rude. But I try my hardest to rise above it. I hope this helps you too!