Etiquette for Life- Q & A with Dr. Minju Witte

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Good Morning Friends!

It is cold as can be here. It got into the low teens, and I have pulled out my winter boots! I don’t know about you, but I am pooped! I am finishing up the last things on my Christmas to-do list and gearing up for 4 holiday luncheons. With all of this in mind I began to think about people. The holidays can be the worse times to deal with people because they are everywhere around this time of the year.  Because of this I decided to look for an etiquette coach earlier this year to give me a little guidance. 

I ended up finding a coach that was located here in Indianapolis! Her name was Dr. Minju Witte, and I thought I would take a chance and reach out to see if she would have a Zoom meeting with me and she did. We ended up talking about so many things and at that point I realized that I was making a friend. Minju was so kind, soft spoken, and real! She was honest and real about life and her answers to etiquette.

I then asked if she would come and speak at my office for our Women’s Leadership Initiative group and she agreed! I was thrilled. My office enjoyed her presentation so much that they requested she come back and do a second presentation! Of course, I will be booking that soon, but I could not stop there! I then asked if she would be willing to do a Q & A here on the blog and of course she agreed! I posted a question on my Instagram stories asking my followers if they could ask an etiquette coach whatever they wanted what would they ask? The best questions came in and I am sharing Minju’s answers! I hope that you enjoy these, save them, and use them.

 

1. How do you respond to envy because you are classy?


One of the key traits I value in friendships is the ability to feel genuinely happy for others. Envy often stems from insecurity, but the elegant approach is to channel that energy into inspiration rather than negativity. When faced with envy, maintain your grace and don’t allow toxic energy to disrupt your peace. A true sense of class lies in staying centered and compassionate, even in the face of such challenges.

2. What are five books you would recommend for learning elegance?

Instead of focusing solely on “how-to” books on elegance, I believe true elegance is cultivated by observing and appreciating beauty in daily life—whether through art, films, travel, or even the unexpected details like a striking color combination in a shop window. Elegance is a mindset of curiosity and attentiveness.

Here are five books that inspire an elegant approach to life:

  1. Christian Dior: Designer of Dreams – A stunning exploration of Dior’s artistry and vision.
  2. La Seduction: How the French Play the Game of Life by Elaine Sciolino – A cultural guide to the French way of life.
  3. Emily Post’s Etiquette, The Centennial Edition – A timeless classic on social grace and modern etiquette.
  4. At Home with Madame Chic: Becoming a Connoisseur of Daily Life by Jennifer L. Scott – A celebration of daily elegance.
  5. Mind Your Manners: How to Be Your Best Self in Any Situation by Sara Jane Ho – A practical guide to cultivating poise.

 

photo credit: Mrs. Shockley

This is Dr. Minju Witte at my office doing a presentation called “Civility in the Workplace” in September of this year! 

 

3. How do you stay elegant amidst life’s chaos, especially without elegant role models?

Elegance is about embracing the beauty of everyday life, even in the midst of chaos. Romanticize your routine—savor that morning tea, wear something lovely at home just for yourself, or take pride in small rituals that bring you joy.

Our social media-driven world often ties value to external validation, but true elegance starts with celebrating yourself, for yourself. Dress well because it uplifts your spirit, not because others might notice. Elegance is a deeply personal journey of finding joy in simplicity and cultivating grace within, no matter the circumstances.

4. How do you resist the urge to be overly blunt when expressing opinions?

Before expressing your opinion, ask yourself: Is it true, helpful, inspiring, necessary, and kind? This filter ensures your words have purpose and elegance.

If you’re addressing disrespect or asserting boundaries, approach with honesty that is firm yet benevolent. As an etiquette trainer, I coach clients on how to communicate with “benevolent honesty,” balancing assertiveness with kindness. Remember, elegance isn’t about avoiding conflict; it’s about addressing it thoughtfully and with integrity.

5. No elbows on the table? What gives?


Etiquette depends on context. If you’re dining casually with friends or family and there’s no food in front of you, resting elbows can be fine. However, in formal settings or cultures like France or England, keeping elbows off the table entirely reflects respect and awareness of tradition.

The key is to be a social chameleon—adapting to your surroundings with ease and grace.

6. What steps should one take to avoid or handle toxic women at the office?


It’s natural to encounter colleagues you wouldn’t choose as friends, but professionalism requires navigating these relationships with tact. Good etiquette doesn’t mean being overly nice or allowing boundaries to be crossed. Instead, it’s a tool for maintaining composure, objectivity, and strong boundaries.

Seek support outside of work—through an etiquette coach or other resources—to strengthen your strategies for dealing with toxicity. Remember, toxic behavior says more about the other person’s struggles than about you. Stay focused on your goals and protect your energy.

7. How should one handle hearing others gossip about them?


Let them. Protecting your peace and joy is far more important than attempting to control others’ opinions. Gossip reflects more about the gossiper than it does about you.

Instead, focus on the truth of your own life. Do you respect and love how you’re living? If not, make the changes you need to find joy. Cultivate friendships rooted in trust and mutual respect and let the noise of gossip fade into the background. Truth always prevails, and the only narrative that truly matters is the one you create for yourself.

 

Photo credit: A. Bryan 

Dr. Witte and I at my office presentation in September of this year. 

THIS WAS SOOO GOOD! I truly hope that you all found what you needed in this interview. I know that I will be printing this out and taking it to my office to look at every day. I will also be printing it out for my home office. There are so many nuggets of wisdom in this Q & A.  I will also be ordering some of these books! Now I am already a Jennifer L. Scott fan so I have her books, but I will be adding the others to her collection as well. I asked Dr. Witte if she would be willing to record a Zoom call with me discussing these questions and anything else that we can come up with and she said Yes! I will be scheduling that with her soon and will be sure to share the video! Fingers crossed I can get it figured out. If you are in the Indianapolis area reach out to Dr. Witte. She is professional, lovely, and would be a fantastic speaker for your business or school. Private lessons are available as well. 
Let me know your thoughts below and enjoy your week! 
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November Favorites ~ 2024

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Hello December!

I know that I am a little late with my November favorites, but I needed a few days away from the computers, and I do mean computers! My eyes needed a break and so did my head. It was nice. We spent Thanksgiving at home of course catching up with our adult children. I tried two new recipes which I will share soon, and I loved my table setting. 

 

photo credit: Mrs. Shockley 

 

 

I found some orange astromelias at the grocery store and thought that they would be perfect in the center of the table, and they were! If you want to shop my table, you may read my blog post here or see my short video on my LTK page. 

I had to search my phone for my November favorites. This month went by so quickly. I was not sure if I had any, but I have a few. 

 

 

My first is this beautiful, green, chinoiserie inspired cabinet on FBMP. Now currently this is still available. It turns out that the seller actually has a store nearby, so I went to see this in person. I am trying to wait to see if I can get it a little lower if so it will go in my kitchen. I can see it now! 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Second are these GORGEOUS star and pearl earrings from Amazon! We all know that Amazon is hit or miss sometimes, and these are a hit! They are so pretty in person and the quality is not bad at all. I have been wearing them non-stop. They are a perfect Christmas party accessory or gift. 

 

photo credit: Mrs. Shockley 

 

Next is my Christmas decor this year. Each year I fine tune my home style more and more. This year I got to decorate the entry way with more items and having my vintage cabinet there was lovely. When I open the front door, I no longer feel like I have to hide my hideous coat rack that was there. If you missed the before and after post you can read it here. I will be sharing more Christmas decor here soon. 

 

 

Oh I know I got another STANLEY! I could not resist the antique pink that was on the website. That was the name antique pink, and I got it in a smaller size. It’s quite lovely. Order one soon you know that they don’t last. 

 

 

photo credits: Mrs. Shockley 

 

Next up is my recent Target visit. Sometimes I find things and sometimes I don’t but this round… oh my goodness! I finally found a coat that I love! I found this gorgeous herringbone wool coat and these stunning red satin shoes! Both items looked like a million bucks when I wore them together. I got so many compliments! Then I purchased this beautiful vintage Cameo brooch from my local jewelry store. Both the coat and the shoes were about $100 together! Now that is chic but affordable. 

 

 

 

My last favorites are these leopard pom-pom key chains from Amazon. I was not sure how they were going to look but they are quite chic. I got three. I got the navy, gray, and brown. They could dress up any bag or key chain. 

Well, that is all for this month. My boutique is still having its Black Friday sale. Use code BLKFRIDAY24 for 10% off of your order sitewide. Also, if you make a purchase, you will receive a free pair of Cameo earrings! Just put “free Cameos” in the note section of your order! I don’t have many left so order while you can. My newsletter will be going out soon and new items have been added to my Shop my Favorites page. Have a great week! 

 

 

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Thanksgiving Table ~ 2024

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Good Morning Friends,

There is so much going on around us. I found myself praying more than usual now. But let’s start off my blog post on a good note. This past weekend my husband and I attended the Art, Wine, & Design party for the St. Margaret’s Guild and we had a great time. I got to talk with our upcoming interior designers, have a glass of wine and enjoy the night. Here is a photo of me and some of my Guild friends! 

 

 

photo credit: St. Margaret’s Guild 

 

Lauren came home this weekend as well. We got to love on her and plan for Thanksgiving which is next week! I can’t believe it. I have been moving things around in my home and still purging a lot. Coming up with a Thanksgiving table setting this year was a little difficult but then I remember these gorgeous leaf placemats that I found at HomeGoods a few years back. 

 

 

Aren’t they lovely and they are so different. I have not seen anything like these in the stores since I found them. These were a wonderful tablescape find. I found them in HomeGoods but the designer or company is Rachel Ashwell. These were the closest that I could find. Macys has some similar as well. 

 

 

 

I placed my Spode Woodland dinner plates on the leaf placemats, and I was in heaven. I really loved how everything came together. My cream table cover (similar one here), the table runner (similar here), and antique finds always seems to come together in the end. My green goblets are from my mother-in-law and I will probably need to replace them here soon. I did see these on Amazon and maybe adding them to my cart. 

 

photo credits: Mrs. Shockley 

 

I pulled out the soup tureen that I found at an antique store several years ago. I found this one on Etsy it is similar, but I also found this one. 

 

 

 

 

The browns, creams, and greens are flowing quite nicely together. You have seen these candlesticks before. They appear and disappear from my table settings throughout the years. I have not picked up my fresh flowers yet. We are still a week away and I am not sure what my grocery store will have. The flowers at my local grocery store have been horrible for about a year. It’s the young girls that are in charge. They don’t seem to care. When I go to different grocery stores under the same company and ran by older women there are beautiful flowers to choose from. It just drives me nuts! 

 

 

 

My Bath and Body Works gold turkey candle holder is always popular. I have to admit I love it as well. I did manage to find two of them on eBay. I found one here and one here. They are about the same price. The rest of them were over $100 or just about. It holds a 3-wick candle and whenever I pull it out someone is always asking me about it. 

I also posted a video of me creating this on my Youtube channel!

 

 

I hope you enjoyed this post and my video. My Black Friday newsletter will be going out on Friday with a code “BlkFriday24” for 10% off of the entire boutique. You can even use it on clearance items! Have a wonderful weekend! I will be taking next week off from the blog but will return the following week with my November favorites. Don’t forget to shop my favorites page for some Christmas gift ideas! 

 

 

 

 

A Canopy for My Bed

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Good Morning!

I am tried but I managed to get a lot done this weekend. I only have the produce items left on my Thanksgiving dinner list, we only have a few Christmas items left to buy, and my Christmas are up and the house is decorated! It’s a good feeling when those items are checked off my list. I have some beautiful new finds on my favorites page here on the website. 

I don’t really like to talk politics on my blog or on my social media platforms but all I have to say is I just pray. For whatever president is in office, I always pray. I don’t care what side that they are on. I just pray because I still believe in the Lord. The Lord has always taken care of me and my family regardless of who is in power. In the words of Charles Stanley, you fight your battles on your knees, and you’ll win every time.  Now let’s move on. 

I will be sending out a black Friday/Cyber Monday newsletter here soon. I will be offering a discount code for all items on the boutique’s website so stay tuned. 

Have I mentioned my desire to have a canopy above my bed? I think that I have especially during last year’s show house. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Photo credits: Mrs. Shockley 

 

Seeing this room last year, designed by Sassy Green Interiors, inspired me to actually take a leap of faith and attempt to accomplish this in any way that I could. I have been toying around with this idea for years and I mean years! But actually, seeing it in person, and speaking with MaryEllen and Christy gave me the confidence to just try it and if it didn’t work then it’s not the end of the world.

I searched on the web and managed to find this DIY canopy frame on Etsy. It comes in multiple sizes. It ended up ordering the 54 inches and it was a perfect fit for our California King. 

 

 

The installation was pretty simple, and the product is a simple product. I was a bit worried about it begin too big but once my husband got it secured to the wall, and we added the curtains I was a happy camper!

 

 

 

It took my husband about an hour to get it hung up and to add the curtains. I knew that I wanted green, or emerald-colored curtains. I don’t know why but that is what my heart wanted. I found these at HomeGoods as well as the chinoiserie inspired Martha Stewart curtains. If you are looking for similar curtains you may find some here, here, here, and here. 

 

 

I love how it turned out. I love all of the colors and different textures. Now of course this will change as the years go by but for right now, I am happy. If you are interested in my peacock pillow cover you will find it here. I also found this gorgeous one with green. I also purchased these white pillow covers for my three large pillows, and I love these! This bed skirt is on our bed as well. 

 

photo credits: Mrs. Shockley 

 

Sometimes you just have to take a risk in your home. I had a co-worker recently ask me about some linens she is considering for her home and one linen she really loved and she said, “oh I can’t use that”, and I asked why. She said, “isn’t that linen just for bedrooms”. That comment really sadden me a little because I thought you should be free to try things in your home wherever you want and that is what I told her. If you want to use this linen in your living room, then use it! Life is short, take some risk! 

I hope you enjoyed today post and remember take some risk in your home. It’s your beauty, enjoy it! 

 

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My Autumn & Winter Bags ~ 2024

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Good Morning Everyone!

Goodness, I am so glad to have my hour back! I know some people may not care but I do! It really makes a difference on Sundays. I feel like I get a lot more done, and I get to bed at a decent time. The Indiana Conference for Women was great! I was a volunteer again this year and loved it! Registration went well and I met more women this year. The speakers were phenomenal and the books… oh my goodness they are really good! So we got Career Foward: Strategies from Women Who Made It, Lead Bigger: The Transformative Power of Inclusion and Indulge: Delicious and Decadent Dishes by Valerie Bertinelli. Some of Valerie’s books were autographed. I managed to get one for my boss. I really enjoyed the speakers for the first book Career Forward. They were down to earth, brilliant, and precise. I was placed in the green room for a moment and got to meet author April Simpkins. She was such a sweetheart and the story of the daughter Cheslie Kryst, Miss USA 2019, was heart breaking. 

Martha Hoover, another heavy hitter in my city, was at the conference as a moderator for Valerie Bertinelli and it turns out we know a lot of the same people. I hope to have her come and speak very soon at my office. We talked and talked in the green room, and she asked me to take a selfie with her! Now how cool is that! 

I will be putting up my Christmas decorations this weekend and finishing up my Thanksgiving grocery here soon. Now on to some new fashion finds. 

 

photo credits: Mrs. Shockley 

 

Oh sweet autumn is here and so are all of the rich colors and fabrics! I am a tote girl and I love a tote with great organizational spaces and pockets as well as beauty. I have managed to find three Kate Spade Manhattan totes that I love. My first tote was the Manhattan tote in houndstooth. I purchased this about 2 years ago and knew I wanted a second one. I managed to find this one on the website! It is still available for now. Order it while you can. 

The second purchase was the Manhattan Lady Lepoard tote in green! Oh be still my heart! Honestly, I was shocked that I loved the green one, but I think that was my “winter palette” screaming at me. I ordered this one from Poshmark. Then this past summer I saw the black Manhattan Lady Lepoard tote and thought, “you know that might be another great addition to my wardrobe”. I found this one on eBay. Both leopard totes were purchased brand new. If you are interested, you may check Poshmark and eBay. 

 

 

Now this is my newest addition. This is the Gucci Brown & Multicolor Suede Ophidia Large Tote. What’s funny is that this bag was not on my radar. I have been stalking the Fendi Sunshine Large tote for almost a year. Maybe even longer. I found a few used ones on the Vestiaire Collective website but for some reason I could not pull the trigger. I just kept praying about it. Every time I added one to my cart, I would let it sit there and ask myself a series of questions. It was a bit ridiculous, but I had a number in my head that I did not want to go over, and I was trying to stay on budget. Also a thought popped in my head.  It was, “in the next five years would that big Fendi sign across the bag bother you”? And I thought wow, where did that come from? It really made me think. 

I am trying to do a better job of cultivating my wardrobe and I am starting to think long term, like years. So then I said, “Lord I am on the hunt for an elegant bag for this season and I want it to fit into my wardrobe permanently”. Can you find the bag that I am suppose to have? I swear to you about one hour later this bag popped up in my Vestiaire search! It came out of nowhere and I did not even type this name in! When I saw it my heart SANG! 

I was so in love with the shape, the deep rich colors, the black leather, the suede, the structure, the handles and the perfectly size branding! Oh my goodness, I was in love instantly. Also the price was pretty good but then as soon as I liked it the seller sent me a deep discount! I ended up paying under $900! Thank you Lord!

I am so happy with my purchase and so happy with my collection this year. I have more bags for the autumn/ winter, but these are the newest additions. I don’t know if you pray to God about your purchases, but I will tell you this. You should try it!

Have a great week! 

 

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October Favorites ~ 2024

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Good Morning Friends,

Can it really be November so soon? I have started buying my Thanksgiving dinner ingredients as well as December’s. I don’t want to be running around here in the next few weeks trying to locate items. I want to be prepared. My favorite brand of turkey has arrived in the stores but I am waiting on them to drop the price. It is still too much per pound. I have started Christmas shopping as well. 

This week has a lot going on. Taylor Swift will be here at the end of the week downtown and I am dreading it because the Indiana Conference for Women will be on the first day of her concert! Oh my! And I am on staff! I wanted to just enjoy this conference but I am so worried about the traffic. I keep telling myself just go and enjoy yourself. Don’t worry about the concert. There is nothing that you can do. 

We have some excellent speakers this year! I don’t think that I can stay of the entire conference but I already have the agenda and I am at the registration table this year which means my duties will be done around 9 a.m. Technically I can leave but I want to hear Valerie Bertinelli and Grace Puma. Wish me luck!! 

Okay here are my favorites for the month of October. 

 

photo credit: Mrs. Shockley 

 

First on my list is this beautiful Chanel and dahlia canvas that I found at Burlington. Now I have not been in Burlington in years and we have a new one that was built in the downtown Indianapolis area. The beautiful colors and large gorgeous dahlias caught my attention. I normally do not like these types of perfume bottle paintings. They are normally pretty cheap looking but this one was beautiful! 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Next on my list are my parrot tulip bulbs. This particular flower has literally been on my Pinterest board for years! I have always wanted these but could never find them in store. So I ordered some from Easy Grow and they arrived a few weeks ago. I planted them in the greenhouse recently and look forward to how they will turn out next season. 

 

 

Third are my set of two teacup and saucer from Williams Sonoma. This is from the collaboration from Bridgerton. I was not sure what these were going to look like but when I opened the box I gasped. The size is perfect, the details are lovely and just look at the box. They are so beautiful! 

 

 

Most of you know that I just had my color analysis done for my birthday and true red is one of my colors. Needless to say that I was shocked but after leaving my appointment I immediately thought of these shoes. This are from J. Crew and were made in Spain with quality leather. I had to order a pair when they dropped the price. I also ordered this extremely chic Chanel inspired cardigan. I am so inspired to try jewel tones in my wardrobe now. 

 

photo credits: Mrs. Shockley

 

Whenever I go to the Cake Bake Shop I always stare at the china. It is so expensive but I think that Gwendolyn recently added this teapot at a lower price. It is still made from Lenox so it is not really cheap but then again beauty and quality does have a price. I love using my teapot on the weekends! 

 

 

Sixth on my list are my Pilates shoes! I absolutely love these! I feel like a ballerina every time I wear them. They are perfect for my class but also perfect to feel elegant walking around the house in. You should get a pair! 

 

 

 

Next are my new books! I got these for my birthday. I have glanced at both but have not had a chance to dive in. The Art of Gracie and de Gournay are both based on hand painted chinoiserie wallpaper.  There is a lot of inspiration in these books and I love forward to reading them. They are both exquisite! 

 

 

 

Last on my list is my recent Amazon favorites video. I am sharing my most current Amazon favorites. I use all of these items and love them. I hope that my video gives you an idea of how these items work and encourages you to try them. 

I hope you all enjoyed my favorites for this month. My October newsletter should be hitting your inboxes very soon! Thanks for following along. 

 

 

Autumn Table Centerpiece ~ 2024

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Is it really only a week left in October? Goodness, I am runny a bit behind on my autumn table decor post! I am very proud of myself for not buying new pumpkins this year. I just felt like I had too many. This year I kept things simple for my table. 

 

photo credit: Mrs. Shockley 

 

I did purchase these famille rose bud vases from Williams Sonoma. They are so dainty and quite lovely to add to your autumn table. I think they are a very versatile decor item. They could be use for all seasons. Now of course I cannot find my pumpkins for you but I did locate these lovely blue and white pumpkins on Amazon.  I love adding blue and white to my table. 

 

 

Ballard Designs also had some beautiful blue and white pumpkins. I honestly have been thinking about changing my dining room table from a long rectangle table to a round one. Let let me in the comments below if you have a round dining room table and how difficult it is to decorate it. If it is. 

Oh and we have finished hanging the canopy! I will be sharing that sometime soon. Next week will be my October favorites. This month has flown by! Share below if you are using blue and white pumpkins to decorate your table this year.

A beautiful new boutique arrival has hit the website! It is my first shoe! The Gigi Velvet Pump is a gorgeous block heel shoe. It is faux leather, velvet, and the heel measures about 3 inches high. It is perfect for this upcoming holiday season!

 

 

Photo credits: Mrs. Shockley 

 

 

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