In society today things are so different. We are taking pictures of our food and doing crazy things at the table. I know… I am guilty of these myself. When a dish I picked looks wonderful I am always impelled to take a photo but I always keep the “flash” off and I try to do it quickly without anyone seeing me.

My husband here lately has been waiting until everyone is served before he begins his meal. I love it and it has inspired the children to do the same. I have been wanting to have better table manners lately and have been trying to pay better attention to how I act during dinner.

Even at home, I want to be excellent. I was flipping through my book The Butler Speaks and found his Top Ten Rules of Table Manners. Some of them are reminders while others give you something to think about…..

1) Your Dinner Napkin: Never tuck your napkin into your collar. When you want to use your napkin, put your cutlery down first and pick it up from your lap. When you are done with your napkin, place it back on your lap, and resume eating.

Photo by Євгенія Височина on Unsplash

2) Elbows: As your mother always said, no elbows on the table. Also, don’t let your elbows stick out at your sides like wings. Keep them tucked into your body, especially when lifting food to your mouth.

3) When you don’t like what is being served: Inevitably there will be times when you don’t like the dish being served. Take a little of what is being served, try it, and try not to look unhappy. You don’t need to finish it.

4) Bringing your fork to your mouth: Never lean over the plate. Instead, bring your fork to your mouth. ( This is a new one for me)

5) Your cutlery: Speaking while holding your cutlery and, worse yet, pointing with your cutlery while speaking is considered very rude. And avoid holding your cutlery “as if you are going to war”, as my mother always says. Put cutlery down while chewing.

9) Dealing with spills at the table: If you accidentally spill something, don’t make a big deal about it. If there are servers, motion for one of them to bring you additional napkins. Deal with the problem as quietly and quickly as possible. If you accidentally spill something on someone else, resist the temptation to wipe down yourself. Instead, offer your napkin.

Many of us get invited to parties or have office functions but for the most part, most of us will not be invited to state receptions or official balls.

Mr. MacPherson did however give great advice on how to have excellent etiquette and how to handle important events.

* Be on time (of course): When it comes to important events, there is no such thing as “fashionably late”. Be a few minutes early if you will have to check your coat or if you don’t know exactly where to go. 




* Do not lobby: An official event is not the time to lobby for your cause, no matter what cause it is. Use the event as a social time to get to know people, and contact your new connections on specific matters after the event is over. 

Photo by Mat Reding on Unsplash

* Never ask for more food: Asking for a second helping of something will draw unwanted attention. Large events are generally planned down to the minute. By asking for more food you may upset the timing of a dinner, and insult your host or hostess.