Blog posts that inspire

Word of the Year ~ 2025

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Good Morning!

It’s still cold but manageable. I do miss my morning walks. I need them now since I am seeing so many things in the news. My goodness… California. I didn’t realize that the fires were that bad until this weekend when I actually got a chance to sit and watch the news. My goodness… North Carolina is still struggling from the hurricane. So many things Lord, so many. My mornings walks would always help be sort things out in my mind. I am back on my elliptical for the next few months because the mornings are so cold here.

Now as you can see from my title of this blog post I will be sharing my word of the year. For me it is never just one word. My words are always phrases. It always takes me a few days before the end of the year to get my phrase, but it usually comes because of some life event. This year it came because of a recent activity that I did with a therapist. I may share that later, but my word of the year or phrase of the year is “be present”. 

Now I catch myself and I have been doing this most of my life, thinking about the future or the past. Those thoughts in most cases provided a distraction from something that I was dealing with at the moment. Now my goal is to be present. In happiness, and sadness. Be present! 

I have also started my new planner. Jennifer from the Daily Connoisseur recently shared her planners. I am normally a Day Designer kind of girl but this year I decided to try a new planner called Planned & Proper.  

 

photo credit: Mrs. Shockley 

 

This planner is exceptional! I was not sure how it was going to work for me, but it is a perfect fit for my life! I had my name added to the first page, so personalization is an option. The third page is your word of the year page! You write it down along with your thoughts. There are pages for plans or projects, book goals, and brainstorming your big ideas. The daily format is a winner. It provides a section for your top 3 priorities, to-do list, current goals for the day, a timeline, self-care section and daily gratitude. I mean each day has those items for you to jot down!

 

 

This planner has so much! There is a body & wellness page for the year, a place for you to map out your goals for your social life and friendship goals, career and business, financial, home and family, spiritual and creativity! It truly forces you to think about your life for the year. Using this planner and brainstorming about your life will take a few days. It’s not some basic planner that you can just jot down a few things. It really does encourage you to think big about your year in detail. It took me about 2 days to fill out my lists for the year and now I just keep going back to them to keep myself on track.

Let me know in the comments section below what planner you are using and if you have already tried this planner. Also share you word of the year. I think this maybe a repurchase for me next year!

Enjoy your week!

 

 

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Etiquette for Life- Q & A with Dr. Minju Witte

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Good Morning Friends!

It is cold as can be here. It got into the low teens, and I have pulled out my winter boots! I don’t know about you, but I am pooped! I am finishing up the last things on my Christmas to-do list and gearing up for 4 holiday luncheons. With all of this in mind I began to think about people. The holidays can be the worse times to deal with people because they are everywhere around this time of the year.  Because of this I decided to look for an etiquette coach earlier this year to give me a little guidance. 

I ended up finding a coach that was located here in Indianapolis! Her name was Dr. Minju Witte, and I thought I would take a chance and reach out to see if she would have a Zoom meeting with me and she did. We ended up talking about so many things and at that point I realized that I was making a friend. Minju was so kind, soft spoken, and real! She was honest and real about life and her answers to etiquette.

I then asked if she would come and speak at my office for our Women’s Leadership Initiative group and she agreed! I was thrilled. My office enjoyed her presentation so much that they requested she come back and do a second presentation! Of course, I will be booking that soon, but I could not stop there! I then asked if she would be willing to do a Q & A here on the blog and of course she agreed! I posted a question on my Instagram stories asking my followers if they could ask an etiquette coach whatever they wanted what would they ask? The best questions came in and I am sharing Minju’s answers! I hope that you enjoy these, save them, and use them.

 

1. How do you respond to envy because you are classy?


One of the key traits I value in friendships is the ability to feel genuinely happy for others. Envy often stems from insecurity, but the elegant approach is to channel that energy into inspiration rather than negativity. When faced with envy, maintain your grace and don’t allow toxic energy to disrupt your peace. A true sense of class lies in staying centered and compassionate, even in the face of such challenges.

2. What are five books you would recommend for learning elegance?

Instead of focusing solely on “how-to” books on elegance, I believe true elegance is cultivated by observing and appreciating beauty in daily life—whether through art, films, travel, or even the unexpected details like a striking color combination in a shop window. Elegance is a mindset of curiosity and attentiveness.

Here are five books that inspire an elegant approach to life:

  1. Christian Dior: Designer of Dreams – A stunning exploration of Dior’s artistry and vision.
  2. La Seduction: How the French Play the Game of Life by Elaine Sciolino – A cultural guide to the French way of life.
  3. Emily Post’s Etiquette, The Centennial Edition – A timeless classic on social grace and modern etiquette.
  4. At Home with Madame Chic: Becoming a Connoisseur of Daily Life by Jennifer L. Scott – A celebration of daily elegance.
  5. Mind Your Manners: How to Be Your Best Self in Any Situation by Sara Jane Ho – A practical guide to cultivating poise.

 

photo credit: Mrs. Shockley

This is Dr. Minju Witte at my office doing a presentation called “Civility in the Workplace” in September of this year! 

 

3. How do you stay elegant amidst life’s chaos, especially without elegant role models?

Elegance is about embracing the beauty of everyday life, even in the midst of chaos. Romanticize your routine—savor that morning tea, wear something lovely at home just for yourself, or take pride in small rituals that bring you joy.

Our social media-driven world often ties value to external validation, but true elegance starts with celebrating yourself, for yourself. Dress well because it uplifts your spirit, not because others might notice. Elegance is a deeply personal journey of finding joy in simplicity and cultivating grace within, no matter the circumstances.

4. How do you resist the urge to be overly blunt when expressing opinions?

Before expressing your opinion, ask yourself: Is it true, helpful, inspiring, necessary, and kind? This filter ensures your words have purpose and elegance.

If you’re addressing disrespect or asserting boundaries, approach with honesty that is firm yet benevolent. As an etiquette trainer, I coach clients on how to communicate with “benevolent honesty,” balancing assertiveness with kindness. Remember, elegance isn’t about avoiding conflict; it’s about addressing it thoughtfully and with integrity.

5. No elbows on the table? What gives?


Etiquette depends on context. If you’re dining casually with friends or family and there’s no food in front of you, resting elbows can be fine. However, in formal settings or cultures like France or England, keeping elbows off the table entirely reflects respect and awareness of tradition.

The key is to be a social chameleon—adapting to your surroundings with ease and grace.

6. What steps should one take to avoid or handle toxic women at the office?


It’s natural to encounter colleagues you wouldn’t choose as friends, but professionalism requires navigating these relationships with tact. Good etiquette doesn’t mean being overly nice or allowing boundaries to be crossed. Instead, it’s a tool for maintaining composure, objectivity, and strong boundaries.

Seek support outside of work—through an etiquette coach or other resources—to strengthen your strategies for dealing with toxicity. Remember, toxic behavior says more about the other person’s struggles than about you. Stay focused on your goals and protect your energy.

7. How should one handle hearing others gossip about them?


Let them. Protecting your peace and joy is far more important than attempting to control others’ opinions. Gossip reflects more about the gossiper than it does about you.

Instead, focus on the truth of your own life. Do you respect and love how you’re living? If not, make the changes you need to find joy. Cultivate friendships rooted in trust and mutual respect and let the noise of gossip fade into the background. Truth always prevails, and the only narrative that truly matters is the one you create for yourself.

 

Photo credit: A. Bryan 

Dr. Witte and I at my office presentation in September of this year. 

THIS WAS SOOO GOOD! I truly hope that you all found what you needed in this interview. I know that I will be printing this out and taking it to my office to look at every day. I will also be printing it out for my home office. There are so many nuggets of wisdom in this Q & A.  I will also be ordering some of these books! Now I am already a Jennifer L. Scott fan so I have her books, but I will be adding the others to her collection as well. I asked Dr. Witte if she would be willing to record a Zoom call with me discussing these questions and anything else that we can come up with and she said Yes! I will be scheduling that with her soon and will be sure to share the video! Fingers crossed I can get it figured out. If you are in the Indianapolis area reach out to Dr. Witte. She is professional, lovely, and would be a fantastic speaker for your business or school. Private lessons are available as well. 
Let me know your thoughts below and enjoy your week! 
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Thanksgiving Table ~ 2024

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Good Morning Friends,

There is so much going on around us. I found myself praying more than usual now. But let’s start off my blog post on a good note. This past weekend my husband and I attended the Art, Wine, & Design party for the St. Margaret’s Guild and we had a great time. I got to talk with our upcoming interior designers, have a glass of wine and enjoy the night. Here is a photo of me and some of my Guild friends! 

 

 

photo credit: St. Margaret’s Guild 

 

Lauren came home this weekend as well. We got to love on her and plan for Thanksgiving which is next week! I can’t believe it. I have been moving things around in my home and still purging a lot. Coming up with a Thanksgiving table setting this year was a little difficult but then I remember these gorgeous leaf placemats that I found at HomeGoods a few years back. 

 

 

Aren’t they lovely and they are so different. I have not seen anything like these in the stores since I found them. These were a wonderful tablescape find. I found them in HomeGoods but the designer or company is Rachel Ashwell. These were the closest that I could find. Macys has some similar as well. 

 

 

 

I placed my Spode Woodland dinner plates on the leaf placemats, and I was in heaven. I really loved how everything came together. My cream table cover (similar one here), the table runner (similar here), and antique finds always seems to come together in the end. My green goblets are from my mother-in-law and I will probably need to replace them here soon. I did see these on Amazon and maybe adding them to my cart. 

 

photo credits: Mrs. Shockley 

 

I pulled out the soup tureen that I found at an antique store several years ago. I found this one on Etsy it is similar, but I also found this one. 

 

 

 

 

The browns, creams, and greens are flowing quite nicely together. You have seen these candlesticks before. They appear and disappear from my table settings throughout the years. I have not picked up my fresh flowers yet. We are still a week away and I am not sure what my grocery store will have. The flowers at my local grocery store have been horrible for about a year. It’s the young girls that are in charge. They don’t seem to care. When I go to different grocery stores under the same company and ran by older women there are beautiful flowers to choose from. It just drives me nuts! 

 

 

 

My Bath and Body Works gold turkey candle holder is always popular. I have to admit I love it as well. I did manage to find two of them on eBay. I found one here and one here. They are about the same price. The rest of them were over $100 or just about. It holds a 3-wick candle and whenever I pull it out someone is always asking me about it. 

I also posted a video of me creating this on my Youtube channel!

 

 

I hope you enjoyed this post and my video. My Black Friday newsletter will be going out on Friday with a code “BlkFriday24” for 10% off of the entire boutique. You can even use it on clearance items! Have a wonderful weekend! I will be taking next week off from the blog but will return the following week with my November favorites. Don’t forget to shop my favorites page for some Christmas gift ideas! 

 

 

 

 

New Healthy Rituals

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Good Morning Friends,

I recently had a four-day weekend and truly enjoyed it! I got my mums for my porch, order a few items online, started printing off to-do lists for the holidays, and kind of slowed down a bit. I am working on getting my canopy installed above my bed so I will be sure to share that soon. 

I don’t know about you but since I am getting a little older I have been shifting things in my mind and body. My health journey has been a part of my life since my 20’s but I have noticed that my needs are changing as my life is changing. First on my list is breathwork. I recently became interesting in breathwork after reading Rushing Women’s Syndrome and watching Jennifer L. Scott’s video about breathing. So I added this video on breathwork to my weekly routines. 

 

I enjoy doing this so much and it has helped me tremendously. I noticed that I do tend to pay more attention to my breathing. Next on my list has been stretching. I don’t know about you but I love a good stretch in the mornings so I added this video to my weekly routines as well. 

 

 

I feel wonderful after doing these stretches in the morning. Another item has been my workout clothes. I shared my morning walk clothes some time ago but I am beginning to add more items to my workout wardrobe. I found some great new yoga pants to wear  and new sports bras. 

A fourth item has been new products. The first are these Garden of Life PMS Support pills. I am ALWAYS and I mean ALWAYS skeptical of pms support pills. Most of the time they never work for me but these have been working!!! My cramps aren’t as bad, breast tenderness is better, and my mood is a little lighter. I don’t take them for the entire month. I usually start them a week or two before my cycle. They work great!

I am also going to try this Ryze Mushroom Matcha. I have been seeing this all over Instagram and have been curious for months now. I have read that some people have gotten flatter stomachs, feel less bloated, helps with inflammation, anxiety and energy. I will be sure to report back soon. 

 

 

And the last item on my list is Pilates. Now my normal workout routines contain a mile and half walk around my neighborhood and a day of weights. I have taken Pilates before but it was at home and a dvd. When I saw Lydia’s video of her doing Pilates on the reformer I immediately became interested, so I told my husband that as another birthday gift I would like a session of reformer Pilates classes and so he paid for them! 

 

 

I am now taking pilates at Indy House of Pilates! I am so excited. I have not been in a gym in 20 years! They last time I was in a gym I was 8 months pregnant with Lauren. I started about 2 weeks ago and will be finishing up my private sessions here soon and will be able to join classes when I want. It has been really hard. The first day after my first session I got in the car and thought, “dear God what have I done”! But I really want to continue my health and body are very important to me. When I see the other women walk in for classes, I pay attention to their posture. It’s straight and there is something about how they walk that looks different. I want that! 

With these new classes I got to order some pilates shoes. I saw Lydia wearing these while taking her classes so I found some on Amazon and I love these! You can wear them around the house as well. 

I am enjoying this new health journey and hope that with hard work and persistence I will be able to love my body and enjoy the upcoming years. Let me know below if you have taken a pilates reformer class, or have tried any of the products that I have mentioned. 

 

 

 

A Girl’s Day ~ Antiques and Flowers

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Hello Friends, it’s September!

As I stated in my August newsletter, I love this month. It’s a sign of cooling down, a closet refresh, sweaters and lovely silk scarfs. I just love it! Lauren came home this past weekend and it was so nice to have her home. It was a first drive down from campus by herself! As you can imagine my mom-bear was so nervous but when I saw her pull up in the driveway I was able to take a deep breath, look up at the sky and say thank you! These beginning years of adulting are a new chapter for us all.

I shared a few weeks ago that I had a girls day with some of my friends from the Guild. We planned a day of lunch, antique shopping and visiting my friend’s cabin. It turned out to be a great day and a wonderful time to chat, catch up and explore.

We started off with a meetup. Everyone ended up at my home and everyone wanted to see my greenhouse! We then walked around to look at my David Austin roses and then loaded up in the cars to head to Starbucks.

It was an hour drive so we just talked about everything under the sun. Our health, family, goals, and dreams. It’s always good to chat with friends and to get a fresh perspective on life. Sometimes all you need is someone else’s point of view to guide you back to where you need to be. Our first stop was lunch at a restaurant called the Hard Truth which is also a distillery company. 

 

 

The views were magnificent. We had a wonderful lunch while seeing nature. 

 

 

Next we did some vintage jewelry shopping at Touch of Silver, Gold and Old. They had a vintage cameo that I wanted so bad but of course the one that I selected was $2,000! I did not purchase it but we had a wonderful time looking around and meeting the owner. 

 

photo credit: Mrs. Shockley 

 

We then walked to a lovely coffee shop called Olde Bartley House. I LOVED the decor! The vintage table, and chairs, chandeliers, and floors were so aesthetically pleasing. It had lots of beautiful artwork and was filled with history from the town.

 

 

And this door!?? Loved it!

 

 

Once we left the coffee shop we then went to my friend’s cabin and spent a few hours there. We sat in her sky chairs and just laughed and enjoyed each other’s company. She also had an outside tea room which was lovely. I didn’t take any photos of my friend’s cabin because some things just need to remain private. Once we left there we went and visited one of the properties that she is working on. It had an outside tree house which was one of the most beautiful tree houses that I have ever seen. I didn’t take pictures of it because I wanted to be in the moment. 

After that we then stopped by the sunflower garden. I posted a video of it on my Youtube channel. It was such a magical place. 

 

 

I had such a great time with my friends and on the inside I teared up a bit. For about 12 years I have been praying for good godly friendships. I have been saying almost daily, “the Lord will bless me with friends, that will pray for me and I will pray for them”. I have been wanting friendships for a long time. I believe that having friends as a woman is another form of self-care. Friendships are so meaningful in life and I never really understood that until recently. If you have some girlfriends, nurture those relationships. Work on keeping them in your life. They are so important. 

Have a wonderful weekend!

 

 

My Travel Luxuries ~ 2024

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Hello Everyone,

Goodness what a weekend. I am trying to stay away from the news. There is too much going on right now. I did go antiquing on Saturday. One of the interior designers from the showhouse has a booth at Midland’s and I wanted to take a peek at it. While I was there, I found a gorgeous armchair that I will share in my July favorites. I placed it inside my greenhouse. It looks so stunning there. 

I am gearing up for my trip next week. I will be flying to Virigina. In this blog post I wanted to share my current travel items. Honestly some of them are a luxury to me because I did not have really nice travel items until recently. There are a few influencers that I follow on Amazon, and they have shared some wonderful items on how to travel with affordable luxury. 

 

photo credit: Mrs. Shockley

 

I will start with this first. This is the cabinet in my closet. I have taken the first two shelves and created these “travel essentials” shelves. What I noticed (after traveling all these years) is that after we go on a trip, I usually leave my travel essentials and bags in my suitcases. What I noticed is that when my trips were approaching, and I was making a list I would NEVER know what I needed for my trip because everything would be in my suitcases tucked away in my closet. So dumb! 

So when I reorganized my closet a few months ago I decided to go through everything and pull things out and make space for my travel essentials. It has made me so happy! I can know see what I need, and it has encouraged me to purchase more travel items and get more organized for my trips. 

 

 

One of the new travel luxuries that I have purchased are these petite candles from Linnea. Now these are NOT petite. They are the size of your hand but so easy to pack away and take with you. I will be taking the Night Bloom with me to burn in my hotel room at night while I read a book. I also have a box of matches to take with me from Linnea. How elegant is that! 

 

 

My second new travel luxury are these gold airless pump cream jars from Amazon. First off, these are stunning. I will be filling these with my facial cleaners and creams. 

 

photo credit: Mrs. Shockley 

 

Okay I have succumbed to the clear case epidemic but only for the cleaning kits that I kept seeing on YouTube. I love the idea about having my very own cleaning kit. I cannot tell you how many times I have been in a hotel room wish I had some tools to clean items with. 

 

 

But honestly, I am so happy to now have this as a part of my travel luxury items. A cleaning kit for the hotel room? Yes please! I ordered this bed bug spray and the rest was found at stores. If you can’t find any items, this travel cleaning kit is available on Amazon as well. 

 

 

The last newest travel luxury are my new tea bag tins. So most of you know that I love tea and love having it with me when I travel as well but I will admit that I am TERRIFIED when I take tea bags with me through airport security. I do have TSA precheck but still these look suspect! So I wanted to come up with something to carry these in and a sandwich bag was NOT going to cut it. Really these in a sandwich bag? Think about it! So I thought about it and saw that my Harney’s tea is stored in tins, so I searched Amazon for these, and I love them now! I fill so much better having my bags with me and a secure elegant place. 

Of course, I will still be using my packing cubes, vitamin pill holder, contact lenses container, cosmetic bag, and travel jewelry box. This is a work trip so my new mouse pad will be going with me as well as my new laptop screen extender. To see more of my travel favorites, you may read here, and here. 

Also this week I have two new bags that should be arriving. This one from Notiq! I can’t wait. It comes in a smaller version as well. And this bag that I have also been stalking for a while from MME.Mink. I will share an unboxing soon. Have a great week! There will be no blog post next week because I will be out of town, but July favorites will be posted the following week. Talk soon!

 

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Tips for a Balanced Life

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Well Good Morning Friends,

Thank you to everyone who reached out about my perimenopause blog post from last week. I feel like everyone is on this journey. We are all seeking information and looking for ways to naturally deal with the changes in our bodies. The good thing is this is getting more attention, and we are not just left at the mercy of our hormones. 

I was listening to this podcast (it was so good) and the author has a book called The Art of Chilling out for Women. I must admit I was quite curious, so it has been added to my Amazon book list. 

I am always getting emails about items or things and last month I received a newsletter about secrets to a balanced life from V.J. , the owner of Notiq. 

 

photo credit: L. Shockley 

 

In her newsletter she said, “There is a never-ending argument about the concept of work-life balance. Some say there is no such thing as work-life balance. Others say there can only be work-life integration. What are your thoughts on this? How do you define work-life balance in your own life?

As a writer and researcher, I do my best to avoid arguments. I share my research findings and personal observations, empowering you (my audience) to discern what is best and meaningful to you in your own life.

In my many years of research, here is what I have found:

  1. Balance isn’t doing everything.
  2. Balance isn’t knowing everything.
  3. Balance isn’t pleasing everyone.

YES! I could not agree with this beginning more! I certainly did not know this or didn’t believe it. 

She goes on to share her thoughts on “Life Seasons” which I found intriguing.

“This past weekend, I had the honor of speaking at a retreat designed to inspire women to recharge. During my sessions, I shared the three seasons of life many of us go through. These particular life seasons are based on the number of years we’ve had to experience life on earth. I call them Life Seasons. I want to share those three seasons with you today.

Seek Season (ages 1 – 24)

  • The season of searching and discovering
  • The season of learning and awareness
  • The season of “I want to see.”

Success Season (ages 25 – 49)

  • The season of being and becoming
  • The season of doing
  • The season of “I want to matter.”

Significance Season (ages 50 until….)

  • The season of reflection
  • The season of reaping and harvesting
  • The season of “I want to have something to show”

Identifying the season of life you are in can be valuable for several reasons. First, it can help you make better decisions and set appropriate goals based on where you are at in life. For example, if you are in a season of growth and learning, you may prioritize acquiring new skills or education. If you are in a season of doing so, you may focus on adopting systems and tools to help you maximize your time management and resources”. 

Understanding your current season can also help you appreciate and make the most of the present moment rather than constantly striving for something else or comparing yourself with others. It can also provide a sense of perspective and help you navigate life transitions more effectively. We go through many seasons in life.

 

 

Now how inspiring was this? I love the breakdown of the seasons. I seriously believe that I am in season 1 (Seek Season) because I didn’t get to experience it. I married so young and I am now in a season of searching, discovering, learning, and awareness. Now that I am aware that I am in the seek season I will try my best now to rush it but enjoy it. 

How about you? What season do you believe that you are in? Share your thoughts below. Also I wanted to let you all know that the Vintage Vanity Collection is on sale! Each piece is about $10! Order quickly.