Elegant Blog Archives - A Home for Elegance

Etiquette for Life- Q & A with Dr. Minju Witte

December 10, 2024/4 Comments/in Elegant Living, Inspiring Posts /by mrs.sshockley

Good Morning Friends!

It is cold as can be here. It got into the low teens, and I have pulled out my winter boots! I don’t know about you, but I am pooped! I am finishing up the last things on my Christmas to-do list and gearing up for 4 holiday luncheons. With all of this in mind I began to think about people. The holidays can be the worse times to deal with people because they are everywhere around this time of the year. Because of this I decided to look for an etiquette coach earlier this year to give me a little guidance.

I ended up finding a coach that was located here in Indianapolis! Her name was Dr. Minju Witte, and I thought I would take a chance and reach out to see if she would have a Zoom meeting with me and she did. We ended up talking about so many things and at that point I realized that I was making a friend. Minju was so kind, soft spoken, and real! She was honest and real about life and her answers to etiquette.

I then asked if she would come and speak at my office for our Women’s Leadership Initiative group and she agreed! I was thrilled. My office enjoyed her presentation so much that they requested she come back and do a second presentation! Of course, I will be booking that soon, but I could not stop there! I then asked if she would be willing to do a Q & A here on the blog and of course she agreed! I posted a question on my Instagram stories asking my followers if they could ask an etiquette coach whatever they wanted what would they ask? The best questions came in and I am sharing Minju’s answers! I hope that you enjoy these, save them, and use them.

1. How do you respond to envy because you are classy?

One of the key traits I value in friendships is the ability to feel genuinely happy for others. Envy often stems from insecurity, but the elegant approach is to channel that energy into inspiration rather than negativity. When faced with envy, maintain your grace and don’t allow toxic energy to disrupt your peace. A true sense of class lies in staying centered and compassionate, even in the face of such challenges.

2. What are five books you would recommend for learning elegance?

Instead of focusing solely on “how-to” books on elegance, I believe true elegance is cultivated by observing and appreciating beauty in daily life—whether through art, films, travel, or even the unexpected details like a striking color combination in a shop window. Elegance is a mindset of curiosity and attentiveness.

Here are five books that inspire an elegant approach to life:

Christian Dior: Designer of Dreams – A stunning exploration of Dior’s artistry and vision.
La Seduction: How the French Play the Game of Life by Elaine Sciolino – A cultural guide to the French way of life.
Emily Post’s Etiquette, The Centennial Edition – A timeless classic on social grace and modern etiquette.
At Home with Madame Chic: Becoming a Connoisseur of Daily Life by Jennifer L. Scott – A celebration of daily elegance.
Mind Your Manners: How to Be Your Best Self in Any Situation by Sara Jane Ho – A practical guide to cultivating poise.

photo credit: Mrs. Shockley

This is Dr. Minju Witte at my office doing a presentation called “Civility in the Workplace” in September of this year!

3. How do you stay elegant amidst life’s chaos, especially without elegant role models?

Elegance is about embracing the beauty of everyday life, even in the midst of chaos. Romanticize your routine—savor that morning tea, wear something lovely at home just for yourself, or take pride in small rituals that bring you joy.

Our social media-driven world often ties value to external validation, but true elegance starts with celebrating yourself, for yourself. Dress well because it uplifts your spirit, not because others might notice. Elegance is a deeply personal journey of finding joy in simplicity and cultivating grace within, no matter the circumstances.

4. How do you resist the urge to be overly blunt when expressing opinions?

Before expressing your opinion, ask yourself: Is it true, helpful, inspiring, necessary, and kind? This filter ensures your words have purpose and elegance.

If you’re addressing disrespect or asserting boundaries, approach with honesty that is firm yet benevolent. As an etiquette trainer, I coach clients on how to communicate with “benevolent honesty,” balancing assertiveness with kindness. Remember, elegance isn’t about avoiding conflict; it’s about addressing it thoughtfully and with integrity.

5. No elbows on the table? What gives?

Etiquette depends on context. If you’re dining casually with friends or family and there’s no food in front of you, resting elbows can be fine. However, in formal settings or cultures like France or England, keeping elbows off the table entirely reflects respect and awareness of tradition.

The key is to be a social chameleon—adapting to your surroundings with ease and grace.

6. What steps should one take to avoid or handle toxic women at the office?

It’s natural to encounter colleagues you wouldn’t choose as friends, but professionalism requires navigating these relationships with tact. Good etiquette doesn’t mean being overly nice or allowing boundaries to be crossed. Instead, it’s a tool for maintaining composure, objectivity, and strong boundaries.

Seek support outside of work—through an etiquette coach or other resources—to strengthen your strategies for dealing with toxicity. Remember, toxic behavior says more about the other person’s struggles than about you. Stay focused on your goals and protect your energy.

7. How should one handle hearing others gossip about them?

Let them. Protecting your peace and joy is far more important than attempting to control others’ opinions. Gossip reflects more about the gossiper than it does about you.

Instead, focus on the truth of your own life. Do you respect and love how you’re living? If not, make the changes you need to find joy. Cultivate friendships rooted in trust and mutual respect and let the noise of gossip fade into the background. Truth always prevails, and the only narrative that truly matters is the one you create for yourself.

Photo credit: A. Bryan

Dr. Witte and I at my office presentation in September of this year.

THIS WAS SOOO GOOD! I truly hope that you all found what you needed in this interview. I know that I will be printing this out and taking it to my office to look at every day. I will also be printing it out for my home office. There are so many nuggets of wisdom in this Q & A. I will also be ordering some of these books! Now I am already a Jennifer L. Scott fan so I have her books, but I will be adding the others to her collection as well. I asked Dr. Witte if she would be willing to record a Zoom call with me discussing these questions and anything else that we can come up with and she said Yes! I will be scheduling that with her soon and will be sure to share the video! Fingers crossed I can get it figured out. If you are in the Indianapolis area reach out to Dr. Witte. She is professional, lovely, and would be a fantastic speaker for your business or school. Private lessons are available as well.

Let me know your thoughts below and enjoy your week!

* affiliate links attached

A Canopy for My Bed

November 14, 2024/4 Comments/in Elegant Living, Home Décor /by mrs.sshockley

Good Morning!

I am tried but I managed to get a lot done this weekend. I only have the produce items left on my Thanksgiving dinner list, we only have a few Christmas items left to buy, and my Christmas are up and the house is decorated! It’s a good feeling when those items are checked off my list. I have some beautiful new finds on my favorites page here on the website.

I don’t really like to talk politics on my blog or on my social media platforms but all I have to say is I just pray. For whatever president is in office, I always pray. I don’t care what side that they are on. I just pray because I still believe in the Lord. The Lord has always taken care of me and my family regardless of who is in power. In the words of Charles Stanley, you fight your battles on your knees, and you’ll win every time. Now let’s move on.

I will be sending out a black Friday/Cyber Monday newsletter here soon. I will be offering a discount code for all items on the boutique’s website so stay tuned.

Have I mentioned my desire to have a canopy above my bed? I think that I have especially during last year’s show house.

Photo credits: Mrs. Shockley

Seeing this room last year, designed by Sassy Green Interiors, inspired me to actually take a leap of faith and attempt to accomplish this in any way that I could. I have been toying around with this idea for years and I mean years! But actually, seeing it in person, and speaking with MaryEllen and Christy gave me the confidence to just try it and if it didn’t work then it’s not the end of the world.

I searched on the web and managed to find this DIY canopy frame on Etsy. It comes in multiple sizes. It ended up ordering the 54 inches and it was a perfect fit for our California King.

The installation was pretty simple, and the product is a simple product. I was a bit worried about it begin too big but once my husband got it secured to the wall, and we added the curtains I was a happy camper!

It took my husband about an hour to get it hung up and to add the curtains. I knew that I wanted green, or emerald-colored curtains. I don’t know why but that is what my heart wanted. I found these at HomeGoods as well as the chinoiserie inspired Martha Stewart curtains. If you are looking for similar curtains you may find some here, here, here, and here.

I love how it turned out. I love all of the colors and different textures. Now of course this will change as the years go by but for right now, I am happy. If you are interested in my peacock pillow cover you will find it here. I also found this gorgeous one with green. I also purchased these white pillow covers for my three large pillows, and I love these! This bed skirt is on our bed as well.

photo credits: Mrs. Shockley

Sometimes you just have to take a risk in your home. I had a co-worker recently ask me about some linens she is considering for her home and one linen she really loved and she said, “oh I can’t use that”, and I asked why. She said, “isn’t that linen just for bedrooms”. That comment really sadden me a little because I thought you should be free to try things in your home wherever you want and that is what I told her. If you want to use this linen in your living room, then use it! Life is short, take some risk!

I hope you enjoyed today post and remember take some risk in your home. It’s your beauty, enjoy it!

*Affiliated links attached

New Vintage Inspired Bags

August 14, 2024/2 Comments/in Fashion Posts /by mrs.sshockley

Good Morning Friends,

I hope you are all well. My recent “girls day” went so well. I spent the entire day with some of my friends from the St. Margaret’s Guild and we had a wonderful time. I will be sure to share a blog post later about our adventure.

This week we are taking Lauren back to her college campus. 🙁 I am really sad but she is ready to return to her friends. I also will be taking a few days off this week. I want to just “putter” around the house and get things done. I am thinking about changing around my office furniture so we will see what I end up doing.

Have you read the title? Oh my goodness. I recently received a package and it was just stunning when I opened it.

photo credit: Mrs. Shockley

This vintage hatbox is stunning and was created by V.J. from Notiq!

This hatbox is a serious head turner! I took it with me on my recent work trip and you would not believe the amount of people that stopped me to look at it. It is perfect as a carry-on and to take with you for short trips. I have even used it to take to my office to carry my lunch bag, water bottle, and planner.

It is made of sustainable luxury materials and will absolutely elevate your look.

photo credit: Mrs. Shockley

The second bag that I just got is the MME. Carlton Basket tote. It is huge and I have always wanted a large basket bag. I absolutely love it. For one it is different. You will not see many people with this bag. Anytime I carry one of my MME.Mink bags I always get stopped and people ask me questions. This basket bag is made from organic grass fibers woven together. The bag also has leather and the distinctive MME. Mink design and gold hardware. It’s lovely.

It’s has lots of room inside and I added my purse insert from Amazon to give me compartments and proper storage. I found something similar on Amazon, see here if you are interested.

I can’t believe that summer is almost over. I am preparing for my closet review here soon. I actually cannot wait to do it, purge some items and get ready for fall. Speaking of purging most of the dresses in my dress boutique are on sale. Most of them have been marked down to only $10! Order a few for your wardrobe!

This post is a paid partnership.

The Peony Festival ~ 2024

June 5, 2024/2 Comments/in Elegant Living, Inspiring Posts /by mrs.sshockley

Good Morning,

I have been in my greenhouse every evening since it has been installed. I am on a bit of a learning curve, but we will get there. Right now, I am trying to defy the odds. Most of the individuals at the nurseys around my city are telling me that I cannot grow a flower cutting garden in my greenhouse! I WANT TO PROVE THEM WRONG! I know that flower bulbs need to freeze but I really want to try this. I am not saying that I don’t want to plant vegetables down the road but for right now my goal is my very own flower cutting garden. I am hoping that the Lord can guide me.

Did any of you get a bouquet of peonies this year? It seems like the season came and went so quickly! I tried to get out and get more peonies but it seems like everyone in my city was looking for them.

One place that had tons of peonies and people was the Peony Festival this year.

photo credit: Mrs. Shockley

I saw these walking up to the festival this year. There were so many peonies and so many people! The word has gotten out and now everyone is coming. I think they may need to stretch it for two days.

One flower that caught my eye this year was the Christmas velvet peony. Have any of you ever seen this version or color before? It was quite striking but so beautiful! A company called Mimi Made it by Lattia had these beautiful flowers.

These little peony bouquets were so adorable and chic. I loved the pink blush containers and the little statute sitting on the table. This company was local as well as was called Louloudi.

photo credit: L. Shockley – My handbag is the Bentley from MME.Mink.

This was Louloudi’s photo area. Wonderful isn’t it? I am normally not a photo area person, but I could not resist the mannequin with the peony dress. I mean no one could!

I walked around the festival with my flowers in my tote like this and EVERYONE stopped me about the bag and flowers. Lauren said that as I was walking thru the crowd women were leaning over to smell my bouquet. Love it!

photo credit: Mrs. Shockley

As we were leaving the festival a door was opened to a historical home and the owner was standing there. I looked over and said, “Can I come in and look around”. He said, “SURE! Come on in!” Turns out it was a newly renovated historical home turned into an Airbnb called Timeless on Tenth.

The interior designer took me through the entire home giving me a tour and telling me about all of his FB Marketplace finds! I could not believe how much he find on FB Marketplace.

It was truly a gem to find after the festival. I loved getting the tour and learning about the Indiana Historical Society.

We left the Airbnb after the tour, had some brunch with friends and then I got home, and began to place my lush peony bouquets all over the house. I love this part as well. Smelling them throughout my home is such a treat. I also stopped at my favorite local candle vendor called Linnea. I purchased their Moss and Rhubarb candle from their Botanik Collection. It is so good! I also ordered a few of the travel candles which I will share in a different post.

photo credit: Mrs. Shockley

I truly do enjoy going to the Peony Festival every year. As I said, beauty is so important to me in life especially with so much ugly in this world. Just having a snippet of it in my daily life is a necessity for me.

This post is not sponsored

The Guild- Show House 2024

May 22, 2024/2 Comments/in Elegant Living, Home Décor /by mrs.sshockley

Good Morning Friends,

This past weekend was actually a good one! My family and I attended the Indiana Peony Festival, got to tour a new Victorian Airbnb, and had brunch with some friends. The weather was perfect and so were the peonies. I also made time to just sit. I have been craving some porch time. So, I carved out about two hours on my Sunday to just sit on the porch and read. It was so wonderful! This week I am taking two extra days from the office. I need it! I want to get some house chores done. I really need to get my new vintage plates hung on my wall. I am about done with purchasing them and can’t wait to share my end result. I was inspired by the showhouse to do the plate wall and hope that you all enjoy this year’s home.

photo credit: St. Margaret’s Guild

This year’s showhouse was called the Sylvan House and was located in the Northern Estates in Indianapolis. It was built in 1927 was about 9,000 square feet! It was a huge house! One thing that I loved that we were able to do was keep the original floors. Most of the floors in the home were the original floors. How wonderful is that! We had 21 different local interior designers all assigned to different areas in the home.

photo credit: Mrs. Shockley

Now I did not take photos of all of the areas. I really wanted to enjoy the showhouse this year. This was the foyer. It was designed by Julie O’Brien Design Group, and it was the “koi fish” room. Designers Megan Watson and Joel Contreras created a hand painted mural with 3D fish. It was quite incredible.

Now when I saw this area I gasped. Of course, this spoke to my “grandmillennial” or “granny chic” style that I have! This space was designed by Jennifer Eggers who also invited me to her recent tag sale.

I spoke with Jenni about her space, and she told me that this space was inspired by an English country home. She had the couch reupholstered and the plates were found at different antique shops. I actually managed to find a few of them and will be hanging them in my sitting room very soon!

Off of Jenni’s lounge area was the powder bathroom where the original tile was kept, and Thibault wallpaper was added. I actually love the chinoiserie fishbowl sink! Jenni said that she found this on Amazon!

photo credit: Mrs. Shockley

Woosah! I was actually a docent in this room twice! It was wonderful. It was the sunroom and greenhouse. I wanted to take a bunch of photos but then I decided not to. I wanted to enjoy the space. This sunroom was actually orange previously, so I was happy to see that Monica Due from Cornerstone Interiors painted this room a beautiful green color. The floors were original, the table was vintage, and the ferns were real. All of the rugs from the showhouse were from a company called Joseph’s. The greenhouse was original to the home from 1927 and was still intact! It was so beautiful. I could see myself having tea in the sunroom and having my English flower garden in the greenhouse. The greenhouse was decorated by Allisonville Home & Garden by Sullivan.

Vintage inspired plates made another debut in the sunroom. I used my “Google Lense” on my phone to figure out what these were, and I managed to find a few. I will be sure to share them soon.

As you went upstairs this was the guest bedroom suite. It was designed by Stacy Thompson of Compass Design, LLC. I loved the bed linens from Parkside Linen. The chinoiserie prints were wallpaper I believe from Thibaut Honshu.

photo credit: Mrs. Shockley

Attached to the guest bedroom suite was a guest bathroom. The tile was original, and I was glad to see that Stacy worked with it. I think that the wallpaper in this room was a 1920s Japanese inspired Thibaut Honshu wallpaper.

Now down the hall was my favorite room of all, and it was the master bedroom designed by Sassy Green Interiors. That name should sound familiar because it is the same interior design firm that I did my first collab with last month.

Maryellen and Christy told me that the lush woodland landscape in the window was the inspiration for their design. Their bed linens were from Parkside linens and Schumacher. The antiques were from Architectural Antiques of Indianapolis which I hope to add to my radar to visit soon! I loved the Schumacher damask fabric draping over the bed.

This was the office area in the master bedroom. The Babylon willow wallpaper was from House of Hackney was supported by deep greens and soft neutrals.

This was to the left of the master bed. I loved the double vintage lamps. These sold at the showhouse. 🙁

photo credit: Mrs. Shockley

Another focal point in this room was the double chaise lounge chairs and this beautiful painting. This painting was done by local artist Deb Slack.

Across the hall from the master bedroom was the summer sleeping porch room. This photo does not do this space justice. This room was decorated by Blake Richardson of BWR Home. I actually got to speak with Blake about this room. The centerpiece of this room is the vintage Chinese wedding bed that he found in an antique store in a corner in pieces, with dirt all over it! Now what a find!

This is the other side of the summer sleeping porch room. These chairs were another centerpiece. Can we talk about the color? How bold and grand! The walls were covered in curated statement art pieces and custom furnishings.

I am already looking forward to the next showhouse. I can’t wait to see what the designers will come up with next. Another great part about this organization is that all of the money from our showhouse ticket sales goes to our charity Eskenazi Health.

And I have news…

Speaking about all these chinoiserie pieces in these homes, the boutique has a new chinoiserie item!

The Chinoiserie Silk Scarf is available to purchase! It is 100% silk and measures about 53×53 inches.

I also have it in blue. They are the perfect addition to any elegant woman’s wardrobe. The Cameo Blush earrings are also on sale for only $10! Order a scarf and a pair of earrings for your events this summer!

March Favorites ~ 2024

March 27, 2024/in Monthly Favorites /by mrs.sshockley

Good Morning,

Easter is this weekend! We thank you Lord for your sacrifice and your love. I still can’t believe how early it is. I am not sure if my kid is coming home this weekend. I hope she does.

I have lots of interesting favorites to share for this month and I hope that you find use in them.

First on my list is this iron holder. I needed somewhere to put my iron. Every time I used it, I would just place it on my shelf (while it was hot) and it made me very nervous. I always believe that everything should have it’s place. This has been so helpful to have. I can even place the iron on it HOT and push the cord in the hidden compartment.

This is a photo of my cabinet under my sink. It was a hot mess. I kept trying to find organizational shelving that could help me.

This is wonderful! I ordered this 3- tier shelving system from Amazon. The drawers slide in and out making the access of products so much easier. It’s been a win.

photos via Mrs. Shockley

I have been on the hunt for a cord organizer since Covid. I saw this on an influencer’s page and had to give it a try. You can literally store your cords inside to hide the horrible appearance.

Looks much better!

My fourth favorite is my newest FMBP purchase. This cane chair was on FB for $50. Now the stripe fabric is a little faded and I may have to reupholster it but it’s quite beautiful.

A purse hook? Yes PLEASE! I found myself putting my bags on the floor and various places when I was in restaurants. I have also had to squeeze it in between me and someone else when the floor was too dirty. So, when I saw this, I was desperate to give it a try and I must say I don’t leave home without it. Order one!!!

photo credits: Mrs. Shockley

Sixth on the list are these simply chic and sweet house slippers. I have been on the hunt for a new pair, and I saw Jennifer L. Scott wearing these. I have had them in my Amazon cart for a while and I am so glad that I ordered them. They are quite enjoyable to wear.

Next are vintage plates. I was recently inspired by a beautiful, decorated room at the Showhouse this year. Vintage plates have been at the top of my home decor list, and I have enjoyed adding them to my personal spaces.

Aren’t these beautiful? I recently received them from Dillards and cannot get enough of the green roses. They are so gorgeous! You can watch my unboxing on my Instagram account.

My ninth favorite of the month was a recent discovery. I saw this vintage birdcage at the antique and from the moment that I saw it I knew that I wanted it. Now I am not getting a bird, but I figured I could use this just for decor. I am waiting patiently to make an offer.

Last favorite organizational item for the month is this dryer sheet box. I have been one of those people (nothing wrong with it) who kept their dryer sheets in the original box. I saw this on someone’s video and thought well I like that! So I ordered one from Amazon. It’s great!

I hope you all enjoyed this month’s favorites. The boutique is still having a dress sale. Order a few dresses for your wardrobe. Also don’t forget to watch my most recent YouTube video.

Affiliate links attached.